Knowing What in the Heart
by thephoenixsong
Summary: Lucy meets someone from her pass and Carter is there to help. Carter gets some shocking news!!
1. Studying the Heart

Studying The Heart Louise Mills Louise Mills 14 239 2001-01-08T23:54:00Z 2001-03-06T22:30:00Z 2001-03-13T23:42:00Z 8 6820 38875 mills 323 77 47741 9.2720 4.5 pt 2 2 

**Disclosure: I do not own any of the ER characters.                   **

**Studying The Heart, this is a Carter and Lucy story. **

**Written By Louise Mills.**

Lucy was sitting on her bed and signed with frustration. She was studying for her Mid Terms for the next morning. She was having a hard time studying, because they didn't tell the students what kind of things to study for the paper. What she needed was someone who had already done the exam and knew what kind of questions would be on the paper. The first person she thought of was Dr Carter but she couldn't ask Carter because she got it in her head that he would see it as a sign of weakness. Of course it took a long time for her to convince herself to believe that, because she didn't want to admit that she liked Dr Carter a little more she should. And that if she did ask him for help and that if he said yes could mean he actually like her more then just of his Med Student. But that was just wishful thinking not reality. Lucy laid down on the bed angry with herself, she had made herself think of him in that way and she knew from experience it would take hours even the whole night to get him off her mind. And there would be no way she was going to be able to study now. Lucy decided to go against her conscience and phone carter, that way she gets Carter off her mind and she gets to study. And she may even study better because she would not want to let him down. "That's it kill two birds with on stone…phone book…phone book where are you…arh…C for Carter…phone…dial number… come on Lucy you can dial a number." Lucy dials Carters number. "John carter" "Dr Carter it's me Lucy" " Lucy what can I do for you?" Well, Lucy thought you can come round mine and make yourself at home especially with me. Carter spoke bringing her back to reality. "Lucy you still there?" "Sorry Dr Carter I was just thinking about something else then, sorry" "Lucy can you make sure you don't do that again because when someone goes silent on me I usually get anxious." "Of course sorry again, Dr Carter Can I ask you for a favour?" "Anything for my favourite Med Student" "Really!!" Lucy didn't expect him to say that about her. "Really! What Lucy!?" She didn't realised she had spoken aloud. "Don't worry, I wanted to ask could you help me study for my med term as I thought maybe if I get someone who's already done the exam to help me, maybe I'll be okay for the exam. So could you help me? Please as am loss in big maze and can't find my way out!" John chuckled that the last remark, "sure luc be right over, see you soon, bye" " Bye Dr Carter" "Coming right over…what should I wear…Lucy stop it, its just a study date." Lucy clears the table in the main room, and placed the books on the table she was reading before. She also put down some paper, pens, pencils, a jug of water and two glasses.

Mean while at John's flat.

"John who was that?" Roxanne asked in an angry tone. "Lucy, I forgot I promised her early I help her study for the med term tomorrow" Roxanne wasn't convinced by John excuse of leaving her to go to Lucy's. "Lucy……You know you would drop everything for her if she asked you, so what does that mean?" "I don't know Roxanne, what does it mean?" He asked her in an impatient tone. "I think it means you would rather be with her then me, and that you like are a lot more then your admitting and maybe even more then me!" "That's stupid Roxanne, I'm sorry I have to go!" "Yes, off you go to your precious Lucy!" Roxanne was right about something he would rather be with Lucy then her, because lately she just seemed to be getting on his nerves. He wanted to break up with her for some time now, but never seemed had the right time to break it to her. He just didn't know what to do. He had made his way to Lucy's he slowly climbed out of his jeep, all the time thinking of Roxanne's discussion with him, about him liking Lucy. It had started plaguing his mind just as he stood out of his apartment door. He started thinking could I really like Lucy that much, I do seem to be always coming to her rescue, nah you're just looking too much in to it. He climbs the two stories of stairs up to Lucy flat, on knocks on the door. "Coming wait a sec." Lucy opens the door and welcomes Dr Carter in. "Dr Carter would you like something before we get down to the books?" "Some coke if you got it? And Lucy when we not at work or in the company of people from the hospital you can call me John, Okay." "Okay, coke coming right up." John looked round Lucy Apartment while she was getting the coke; the main living area was quite large with a few couches to the right side of the room with the TV in the bay window, and a table to the Left side of the flat. She had a few house plants shattered around, a cabinet with the Hi-fi system and a CD rack about 4 feet tall with nearly all the slots filled with CD's. He decided right there and then she had a really nice apartment for a student living away from campus, the first question that came thought his mind was how could she afford is place. Lucy came back and handed him a glass of coke, "Lucy can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if you think it's to rude of me for asking you?" "Of course not, you want to ask how I can afford a place like this?" "Yes how you know I was going to ask you that?" "Everyone asks me the same question, It's my grandmothers, she letting me use it while I'm at College." They stared at each other for a while in silence. The way Lucy was staring at John made him feel a little awkward. He thought he saw a wanting in her stare, but told himself it was all in his mind. John had to make the situation he was in more comfortable; he just wanted to get the evening over with. As he just realised he did like Lucy more then he was admitting to himself. "I see, so we better get to the books." Lucy showed John over to the table, they sat down, he suggested which books were good to study from, and which sessions were most likely to be on the paper. He also suggested revising a bit of every session, to make sure she had covered everything. 

They were study for about five hours, and stop now and then to have a break. They would talk about what they wanted from life and their interests. They realised they had a lot in common, like they both had rich grandparents. That's how Lucy could come the medical School, because her grandparents were financing her tuition fees. Her mother couldn't pay and her mother didn't like asking her parents for the money. So Lucy asked her grandparents, her mother didn't like her doing that and didn't talk to her for a while. She had just managed to get her mother talking to her again. Lucy didn't go into much detail about the situation. John thought it was because it was a little painful for her to talk about.

After the studying they were both nearly just dropped dead because of how tried they both were! "You know John you can stay here tonight and sleep on the couch?" "No, it's okay I should really go home I need to talk to Roxanne!" "Roxanne at your place?" "Yeah" "By the sound of things it doesn't seem your happy about things between you and Roxanne!" John signed "It isn't she is just so annoying" "Then why are you still with her?" "To be honest I have no idea, maybe I'm just waiting for the right moment." "The right moment……if you don't break up with her soon, you just find yourselves getting more serious and becoming really unhappy and regret it for a long time." Lucy was very sympatric to his situation he was in. "Sounds like you had experience in this kind of relationship before?" "I kind of do, then I first started college. The relationship was great at the beginning, but it soon turned into an ugly relationship and I became really unhappy." She didn't like remembering those days and it showed. She was nearly in tears; the memories were very horrible and painful for her. John saw it immediately and come to her side, he put his arms round Lucy and hug her, comforting her. The minute he did the tears came pouring out. She needed to get these feelings out of her system. And crying was always the way she could get them out of her system. "It's okay Lucy don't talk about it, a get the picture. If you ever want to talk about anything I'll be here for you!" He moved her over to the couch, and continued to hug her until she stopped crying. He went to the kitchen and made her a hot mug of coco to calm her down. "Lucy I have to go and talk to Roxanne!" "To break up with her I hope" "Yes, differently!! See you after your exam tomorrow, good luck Lucy!!" She looked up to John passionately into his eyes, which were saying thank you for everything. "Thanks John see you tomorrow." "Yes see you, you going to be okay?" "Yes, go Roxanne's waiting." With that John walked out of the door.

John walked slowly back to his Jeep, Lucy was right he had to break up with Roxanne today because if he didn't he would regret it. Even if it's the right moment or not he was going to break up with her the moment he got back to his flat. When John arrived at his flat he was getting nervous, not of what he was going to say but want Roxanne was going to do with him, she had the worst temper he ever knew. He opens the door, "Roxanne, Roxanne can you come out here we need to talk!" He knew Roxanne would still be up, as she always wanted to know where he was and what time he gets in. "John, What you mean we need to talk? I don't think we need to talk about anything!" "Sure we do Roxanne" John said in an unbelievable tone. "Okay I suppose we do!" John walks over to the couch and sits down. "Okay John what's is all about?" "Roxanne, for the last few weeks I haven't really like being in a relationship with you, I have to be honest you have started to annoy me a little." Roxanne didn't like the way John was specking to her, so she started shouting. "How have I annoyed you, you're the one that's impossible to connect to, as you are always off to help your poor little med!!!" "Roxanne don't okay, I'm sorry if it's annoying that I want Lucy to succeed and that will take some of my time." "But John it's not some of your time, it's all your time." John replies to that remark psychiatrically "Roxanne, okay it's all my fault" "John don't talk to me that way, it's disrespectful." "I'm only going to say once, Roxanne pack your bags and get out of my apartment, our relationship is over. And Roxanne you are one of the most disrespectful people I know, not caring for any other people feelings except your own." Roxanne went all quiet and made her way to his bedroom. John stayed sitting on the couch he closed his eyes he was beginning to get a headache. 20 minutes went pass before Roxanne came out of his room and headed straight for the door without saying a word. John looked around towards the door and he only saw the door slamming on her way out. John made his way to the bedroom, he climb in bed and immediately fell asleep.

John's phone starts to ring; John slowly wakes realising the phone was ringing. He starches over and picks up the phone, as he was about to say his name, he falls out bed. "Oh F**King hell," he said in an angry voice. "Dr Greene I think maybe I have just woke Dr Carter up?" "What makes you think that?" "Well the loud slam as if he was falling out of bed gave it away!" "Give me the phone Jerry," "Oh Damn it, ouch, that hurt………John Carter." "Yes John thought I ask you the time?" "What kind of question that?" "John what's the time?" "Honestly have no idea!" "Well it's time that you should have been at work 30 minutes ago." John started to get flustered " Sorry Dr Greene be there in about 20 minutes." "Okay John see you then." 

John quickly got in gear, how could he forgot to set the alarm, this morning would be the first time he be late for work. And he didn't like the feeling of letting people down. John was actually ready in 5 minutes after putting the phone down. He run out of the door to his Jeep, and suddenly stopped when he realised all four of his tyres on his jeep were flat, and he knew actually who done that. "Bloody Hell Roxanne!!" He said quietly under his breath. He turns round and headed back inside the house, he picks up the phone and called ER. "ER can I help you?" "Jerry, can you put me through to Dr Greene please." "Sure Dr C, Dr Greene Carter on the phone for you." "Carter what is it?" "Dr Greene I have kind of a problem?" Mark gets a little anxious, "What's the problem?" "Well, how can I put is into words without you laughing, All my tyres on my jeep have been knifed?" With a little chuckle in his voice he repeated John words. "All your tyres on your jeep have been Knifed" All the people round the ER reception desk looks round with smiles all on the faces. "Sorry John! Do you know who by?" "I have a wild idea who did it!" "May I ask who?" "Roxanne!!! Would there be any chance of someone coming to pick me up?" "Sure, Oh and I won't tell the rest of ER that it was Roxanne that knifed all your jeep's tyres" When mark said that there was more then smiles around the ER, there was fits of Laugher. "Dr Greene!!!" He said a little annoyed. "Sorry, Carter I can't resist. See you soon, be ready okay" "sure see you soon." They both put the phones down. Mark turns around the rest of ER staff, which seem to have gathered just behind him. "Now people, obliviously something happen between Carter and Roxanne. So when he comes in no mention of the tyres okay." They all nodded as they agree but still had smiles on their faces. Mark noticed Lucy at the back of the crowd but she didn't look like she was having any fun with the recent phone conversion. Mark knew then she knew something about what happen between Carter and Roxanne, or he thought she knew. 

Lucy headed for the lounge, so did Dr Greene once the crowd start to move. Mark enters the lounge Lucy was sitting on the couch with her eyes closed. "Late night Lucy?" "Yeah, I was trying to get a bit more studying in before my exam later today!" Mark walks over to his locker and grabs his coat. "Lucy can I ask you something?" "Of course you can!" "Did you know at Carter had a falling out with Roxanne, I notice you weren't laughing with the rest of them out there?" "All I know Dr Greene is that Dr Carter hasn't been happy in his relationship with Roxanne lately, and I the wasn't laughing because I don't think is that funny. It's actually quite serious, do you know much tyres cost, a lot of money." "Thanks, I better go and pick up Carter! See you later and good luck in your exams if I don't see you again." "Thanks Dr Greene" "It's okay." Mark walks out of the lounge, out of the ER to his car. 

Mark arrives at Carter house, and when he saw his car he knew Roxanne must have been really upset to do what she did. He walked up to the door and was about to knock when carter open the door, "Ready Dr Greene." "I didn't even get a chance to knock!" They got into the car and drove off. "John can I ask why Roxanne would do that to your car?" "Sure, maybe because I broken up with her last night and it didn't go as well as I planed and she blame me for everything that went wrong in our relationship. And took a lot of things out of proportion!" "Could I ask what kind of things?" "Well Dr Greene I rather not say because even some people in the ER will even think the same as Roxanne did!" "Arh, you mean the amount of time you spend with Lucy, helping her to become a great doctor, can I ask do you spend time with Lucy, helping her of cause, other then at the hospital?" "Yes, but to help her study when she asks for it of cause." "Did you help Lucy last night?" "Yes" "and did you break up with Roxanne before and after helping Lucy out for the exam?" "After" "Well I can see where Roxanne's coming from, if my boyfriend went round a friends and when he came back he decided to break up me. I would think that it was the friends doing. But I did speck to Lucy just before coming to pick you up, she said you told her you weren't happy in your relationship with Roxanne." "Yeah that's an understatement I have been miserable for weeks but I didn't know how to break up with Roxanne and when Lucy started talking about the relationship she was in once, mine didn't seem that bad, and why the hell I was scared to tell her what I wanted." Mark looked at John a little puzzled about what he just said, "I think you lost me round the part about 'my relationship wasn't as bad as Lucy's', Okay How bad was is relationship she talked to you about?" "Oh not that bad and it's really not my place to say!" Of course John was lying through his teeth about how bad the relationship between Lucy and her ex was. Even if Lucy didn't tell him the in detail how ugly it was, as she puts it, he knew by the way she cried, he hit her, and maybe even got her to do things she didn't want to do. And he could tell Dr Greene his suspension because it wasn't really his place to say. For the rest of the journey back to the hospital they were silent. 

As Dr Carter walked through the doors of the ER Department the smiles and glances that were all aiming at him made him feel uneasy! He knew it was going to be a long day, Dr Carter started to head towards the lounge, as he walked through the door he saw Lucy sitting on the couch. Lucy was just glancing into space, he got concerned. "Everything Okay Luc?" "John, fine, just getting a little nervous, they rescheduled the exam until later today, so I thought to pass time I come to work, but its not working." She said nervously and extremely fast. "As I can see, but don't worry about it, you're going to do fine. Well even if your not suppose to be at work I am, so I better get ready and get amongst the masses. If you want I probably could use some help, so before your exam could you help me for a few hours." Lucy nods yes, and John heads towards his locker, he places his bag and coat into the locker, and grabs his white coat. He puts on the white coat and is just about to leave he turns to her and says to Lucy, "come on, with me then there's work to be done." 

It had been a few hard hours in the ER, Lucy thought as see sat down for the exam, at least I wasn't thinking of this damn exam. When the students were told they could start the exam, the first thing she did is look though all the questions and she started to smile. She told herself the first I well do when I get back to the ER is kiss John, all the questions were in the sections he suggested she should revise in depth. The exam seam to go extremely fast, the minute they said end of test she was off her seat and on her way to the ER.

As she arrived in the ER she saw John on the over side of the reception desk. He looked up and saw her, Lucy waved at John, and he knew she must have aced the test. He walked over to Lucy, who was heading into the lounge, he knew she did well but wanted to hear it from her. John opened the lounge door and saw Lucy pour a cup of coffee. "Could you pour me a cup as well it's been murder out there, since you went to take your exam?" "Why, of course I well, has it really been that busy or are you just making me feel a little guilty about leaving you?" John laughs, Lucy always seemed to know how to make him laugh. "So how did the exam go? Looks to me the way your smiling very well." She turned round to him handled him the coffee and smiled at him. "Extremely well thanks to you!" They smiled at each other for a while, Lucy so wanted to kiss him thanks but she knew it could get them in trouble. But she had no choice she coming more overwhelmed with the feeling of enjoyment very minute. "Thanks Dr carter I don't think I would be able to pass without you." She went up the John and kisses him on the cheek. The weird thing she noticed after kissing him on the cheek he didn't mind her kissing him. Which had her feel even more excited because it suddenly came to her he may actually like her more then his assigned med student. But she told herself impossible because kissing someone one the cheek is a sign of thanks. "No problem, I will always be there for all your studying needs and a simple shoulder to cry on if you ever need it." "Thanks, I think I've done well, no I mean, I know I've done well, but I won't actually find out until the end of next week. To find out if I have done as well as I think I have." He smiled back at her; she seemed excited and anxious all at the same time. And Lucy was the only person he knew who could be that way and still handled a very day situation. "Yeah I know what you mean, it seemed a very long time between taking the exam and getting the results. It was the most anxious I had ever been." John looked down at his watch, they had been talking for 10 minutes, he knew they better get out there before it got busy again. "Lucy time's getting on, I have to get back! Why don't you finish your coffee, and then come out and dive right in?" "This there really that many patients?" "No only kidding wouldn't want to turn you right off of medicine would we. Just come and find me, and I see what you can do to help." "Thanks see you in a while." John walks out of the lounge.

John stood out side of the lounge he could tell it wasn't going to be that busy for a while. He just stood there trying to understand what just happen in the lounge, he knew it wasn't a real kiss, but it still was a kiss. Does she like me, that phrase went though his mind for a while before he remembered at she only kissed him on the cheek after saying thank you. "Shame!" He didn't realise he said out loud until Connie who was walking pass at the same moment saying it aloud ask him this question. "Shame! Shame about what Carter?" John became extremely embarrassed and guilty at the same time, even though there wasn't anything to be guilty about. Unless thinking about your med student other then in professional terms is any reason to feel guilty, it wasn't like he was acting on the feeling. "Oh, nothing just specking aloud." She could tell there was something else what was making him act the way he was lately, and she was determined to find out what. "Well, if you don't want any body to know what's going on in that mind of yours learn not speck aloud like that again. Because people well start speculating on what words like shame will mean in your life. Like you have just come out of the lounge." She looks though the window and she raised her eyebrows. "And someone know will remain nameless, is in the lounge, maybe something happen between you two, or you wanted something to happen between you two. Now that would go well with the word shame." John laughed nervously, "You must be kidding, nothings going on between us! Or ever well" Connie smirked that him she wasn't having any of it. "Well, that's not want I said, I said maybe you wanted something to happen!" She looked at john and he became extremely anxious, she knew then he did want something to happen and she just smiling smirked back. "Well I better go Connie see you later." He walked away as quickly as he could, as he realised she found out, he liked Lucy a little more then he had ever admitted to anyone. 

Lucy walked out of the lounge and went over to the reception desk. "Has anyone seen Carter?" Jerry replied to her, "Yeah curtain three, his with Dr Greene." "Thanks" She makes her way to curtain three, as she was about to open the door she saw the patient Dr Carter was helping Dr Greene with. And she just froze; John saw Lucy just standing there and signalled to her to come in. She saw him signalling to her and she wanted to help him, but her body won't let her go in. As the person they were helping was her ex-boyfriend, the one that she went out with then she first went to College. When Lucy didn't come in he knew something was wrong so he walked up to the window, she knew he was going to make her walk into that room. So she started to nod her head before he could open the door and say something. This really got John, concerned so he turns round to talk to Dr Greene. "Dr Greene, I think something's troubling Lucy so I'm just going to talk to her!" "Well you two better hurry up, if think I will need both of you in a minute." "Sure Dr Greene." John started to walk towards Lucy. "Lucy what's the matter with you? Dr Greene needs our help!" Lucy just kept staring through the window, even thou her ex-boyfriend hurt her she couldn't seem to top staring at him. She was frozen, she also had fear in her eyes as well. "Lucy look at me when I'm trying to talk to you!" John grabs her arm and turns her round so he could look at her. He could see all the pain in those eyes, the pain he saw the other evening, he guessed because of the patient. "Lucy?" he said more softly, which made Lucy come round of what was happen around her. "Sorry Dr Carter" "Lucy, this that man in there the boyfriend you were talking about the after day?" Lucy nods her head, which made John want to hug her for compassion, but he couldn't not at the hospital, people would get the wrong end of the stick. He was also starting to get a little angry, because how can anyone treat her like that, and now he knew it was the patient he just felt like hitting him. "Lucy, I know this is going to be hard but me and Dr Greene need your help in there. So can you try and help I will understand if you don't want to?" John placed his hand on her shoulder trying to reinsurance Lucy. "No it's okay I come and try and help" "Good!" Trying to sound cheery for her, but it wasn't working. She knew she had to do this because if she wanted to be a Doctor she will have to deal with difficult patients. Except this one did her hurt her a lot, and if she could get through this maybe she could handle any patient which come through the ER doors. They join Dr Greene, and John was keeping a close eye on Lucy, and the ex-boyfriend. 

"Let me bring you up to speed! Lucy this is Mr Josh Winters, he has been complaining of abdomen pain, shortness of breath, and fatigue. His pulse rate is irregular about 70 beats per minute, cholesterol count 5.6, and we are just waiting for the X-rays." Josh looks round to the person Dr Greene was talking to, "Lucy?" Lucy was getting jumpy she didn't want him to call here name, but she knew she had to deal with it and be polite. John immediately walked over to Lucy, he was getting increasable more worried about his Medical student. He saw Lucy was handled it okay right now so he decided to back the part of the wall his was leaning against. "Hello, Josh…So want you doing in Chicago?" she needed to know why he was there and she rather find out sooner then later. "Business meeting, so you work at the hospital as a Doctor, what you always wanted." "I'm not a Doctor just 3rd year med student." She kept the small talk to the minimum she didn't want to speck to him and the more time she was spending in that room, made her think of the past. "You know Mr Winters, Lucy that's good! So Lucy what do think about Mr Winters condition and what we should do?" She looks over to Dr Greene anything for her not to look at him. "Well first I would get ECG, and then look that what the x-ray says, but knowing he has an history of rheumatic fever, and he has a slight heart murmur. I say his got Artial Hypertrophy." She looks over at John and he his smiling surprisingly at her; he was thinking extremely good work. And she could tell by his smile. "Well Miss Knight you have surprise me again, get the ECG done bring me the readings and I see if you're right about your diagnosis." "Thank you Dr Greene." Dr Greene then walks out of the examine room and heads for the reception desk of another chart deciding Carter and Lucy could handled this case on there own. 

"So Luc…" Lucy interrupts Josh, and say hostilely "Josh its Lucy okay!" "Sorry, what does an ECG entail? And why isn't that doctor doing anything?" He glances over in John's direction. And replies hostilely "That happens to be my teacher and his is doing something his observing me. He will step in to help when he thinks I need it. And an ECG is then we place electrons on your chest, which then record the rhythm of your heart. Okay!" "Lucy!" John firmly said, she turn round she saw that he didn't want her to talk to him that way. "Luc, come there!" She done what she was told and walked over to John, she whispered to John so Josh couldn't over hear "Sorry Dr carter I can't seem to help but talk to him that way. He just makes my blood boil." "Try okay Lucy, he could get you in a lot of trouble if he complains about your attitude towards him." He could see how much she didn't like this situation but John did admire her for sticking it in. "Lucy then you're a medical student if a patient complains about you being rude or even just talking to him like you just have. The medical broad will see that as a negative point and may even talk about if you would make a good doctor." She didn't like hearing that and she knew she needed to hear it, she loves medicine and she wasn't going to let one ex-boyfriend stop her from becoming a doctor. "If you want I can finish off there and you can go and get another chart?" "No it's okay I can handle it, but only if you stay close!" "Don't worry I won't be going anywhere away from you, not while his in the hospital!" She smiles back at John he was being extremely supportive. 

Lucy walks back to Josh, she starts getting the electrodes out and placing them on his chest. "So Lucy does this remind you of the times we use to spend together?" Lucy turn away from Josh and look over to John, John got up he was getting ready just in case she needed him. She nodded No towards John's direction, which he didn't like at all but he had to expert her decision. "Lucy I'm specking to you?" He grabs her arm spin her around, John gets up walks over. "Mr Winters can you please let go of Lucy, and let her do her Job!" "Why don't you shut up!" he pushed John over and he crush into a trolley forcing him down on the floor and hitting his head on the doorframe, knocking him out cold. "John!!" "Does this remind you of the past?" Lucy starts to raise her voice "Yes, now it does, Let go of me!" "Why should I?" "Because you've hurting me, Please let go Josh, Josh!" By this time she is shouting at him, and he just tightens his grip round her arm, "Let me go!!"  He pulls her in so he could kiss her but she starts to struggle against him. "Don't you dare fight against me!!" John is starting to come around when he sees Josh with a tight grip round Lucy arm, and he starts to hit her. John gets to his feet, runs over to Josh grabs his arms with another force to loosen his grip of Lucy. Lucy drops to the floor and Josh elbows John in the head for his interruption. Lucy gets up runs over to the over side of the room while John was distracting Josh she grabs some sedative  "Sorry, doctor but no one else can join in this little reunion we've having!" John saw what Lucy was trying to do and he knew he had to distract Josh for her. "Well it doesn't look like Lucy enjoying your reunion." "Depends on what you call fun, because I certainly call is fun…" Lucy stabs him with the sedative, he looks round to Lucy, and seeing a needle in his arm.  "You stupid Bitch!" before the sedative could take effect he manage to hit Lucy one more time. Lucy fell straight to the floor, John quickly went to the door, and shouted. "Can we have some help in here?" John walks over to Lucy who was still on the floor, she was in a lot of pain, as no one could cry like that if they weren't. "Lucy, look at me! Luc please look at me!" Lucy slowly lefts her head, at the same time Dr Greene, Carol and Malik walked through the door. "Oh my god what happen?" "Lucy ex-boyfriend Josh Winters decided to have an remembrance day!" Dr Greene walked over to John and Lucy; he saw Lucy needed a few stitches. "Dr Carter was you hurt?" Lucy looks up and answers for him. "Yes, he was Josh knocked him out cold for about a minute, and then elbowed him the face." "Okay thanks Lucy, Malik you restrain Mr Winters and Carol can you attain to Carter and Lucy, Check Dr Carter hasn't got an concussion, and get Lucy some stitches." "Okay Dr Greene, Come on you two up you get!" John got up and Carol helped him to get Lucy to her feet. Lucy was a little wobbly on her feet so carol said, "I check if you got a concussion as well shall I." And they walked out of the room. Dr Greene helped Malik Restrain Josh to the bed.

"Well it looks to me from these test results you two only have a slight concussion! But the down side of it is you can't work the rest of the day!" John looked at Carol to see if she was telling the truth, and he knew she was. "It's only a down side depending on what side your on, like downside for hospital, not for me if I have to go home early!" Lucy quickly looked over at John, immediately he saw how hurt she was about what he just said. "Sorry, Lucy didn't mean it that way! I mean I wouldn't want to go through that again just to get a concussion, so I could get off work early. No wait that didn't come out right either." Carol laughed "John I stop while you're ahead." John smiles back at Carol. "Carol, I think maybe you should put down John's concussion a lot worst then it looks!" John turns to her, and carol puts her head in her hands thinking they were about to start arguing again. "Well if that's what the medical expert thinks." Lucy chuckles at the remark, and John starts to smirk. Carol slowing moves her head back and fourth from Carter to Lucy, she starts to think 'what's going on there'? The remark Carter just made would usually result in an argument. Maybe they have sorted out their differences? No that's not it?' She thinks about it a little more when she realised, they like each other! Well what a surprise! Not really, or is it?  "Well, I'm going to go and help out there. And you two can go home! I don't have to tell you what to do if your concussion's get any worst do I?" They both glanced over at Carol, a look expressing 'of course not', " Okay, sorry you two, hopefully see you two tomorrow." Carol leaves the room.

Carter stares at Lucy, she knows he wants her to tell him what happen between her and Josh. But she didn't want to talk about it at the ER. She knew the only person she could tell was John, but she didn't know how to start. She was just to afraid, she always got the feeling that he was able to over hear, and that he would jump out at her. Because she knew is because this feeling had only came once before when she was trying to tell her best friend what happen. "John, don't ask me here, what happen between us! I always get the feeling he can hear me when I'm talking about the subject. And course him actually being in the hospital; well I'm more scared now about talking here! So how about coming over to mine, I can fix us something to eat and get some tea. Calm down a bit and then tell you." "Of cause what ever makes you feel more comfortable? But you don't have to tell me anything you know." "I know, but I do want to tell someone and I haven't really found anyone I can trust to tell. Until I came here, you must be the only one person I trust, except my family of course. So I will tell you, but it may take some time to tell." She looked down to her arm which by now had a bruise were Josh was gripping to it so firmly. She also had bruise across her cheek where he hit her. John moved his hands over to hers and lightly grips them. She looks up and stares into his eyes. "It's going to be okay Luc. I promise you that it will be okay. It's going to take sometime to get over it, and I will always be there for you. And I do mean that I will always be there for you!" Lucy starts to sob and John pulls her closer and hugs her for a while. "Luc, I go and get our coats okay! You go to the bathroom and clean yourself up. And I'll meet you by reception." "Okay" He left the room, he wanted so much to stay with her and continue to hug her, comfort her more. He also wanted to kiss her even more so now, so she knew other people did care for her, not just that bastard Josh. But he couldn't let those feelings take over, especially at the hospital; he could loss his job if they were caught. Dr Greene noticed John heading to the lounge as Lucy enters the bathroom. He wanted to talk to him alone, Mark opens the lounge door and John is just closing Lucy locker after taking out her coat. "John!" John turned around a little surprised to see him there. "Dr Greene! What is it?" "Can I ask you this is the person you were talking about earlier in the car?"  He wanted to tell Mark yes but he knew that would forfeit Lucy trust as he knew she only wanted him to know. But Mark would have to ask Lucy anyway; he just slowly nods his head. And Mark knew then he looked into John eyes he was 'I let you have that information but if you will have to get the details from Lucy'. "Thanks John, okay you and Lucy well have the rest of today off and tomorrow, and I don't won't you to leave Lucy because I what someone there with her.  Unless you think she will be okay alone?" "Mark, I won't be leaving Lucy she has already told me she can't be alone." "Great, and make sure you two great better before getting back to work." Lucy walks though the door, and quickly notices they go silent, "So what were you two talking about?" she had I wild guess about Josh but she knew John wouldn't say anything, so she was hoping it was about how he was feeling. John smiled and walked over to Lucy and whispered to her in a seductive/jokingly tone. "His just letting us have tomorrow off as well, and has ordered me not to leave your side." And she just lightly laughed at the comment, and deep down inside hoping he wasn't just joking about the last comment. As she really wanted to be with John because she knew she would be safe with him, and that is actually what she needed right now. They both head for the door, John lifts his hand and says bye to Mark.

Now back at Lucy apartment.

Lucy slowly walked over to the kitchen and she turned on the kettle. John had made himself comfortable on the couch, even if there wasn't any sign of head tumour on the cat scans, he was still starting to get a headache. Lucy walked over to John, who could tell that there was something wrong, because he had his eyes closed. "Something wrong John?" "No, not really, just a little headache, you wouldn't have some pain killers do you?" "Of cause I just get them for you!" She went back into the kitchen and grabbed the tablets, she started walking back, "John you shouldn't of left the hospital if you had a headache?" "I know, but I didn't have it when I left the hospital! Don't worry I'll be okay, these will work" saying as he took the bottle from Lucy. "Anyway, a little headache with a concussion is common." He smiles at Lucy, she also smiles back at him, but she was getting a little nervous as she was going to tell him about Josh. He immediately saw this look and quickly went over to her who was standing in the kitchen making the tea. He placed his hands on her shoulder and pulled her back, back onto his chest. "Lucy is okay you don't have to tell me anything!" He said compassionately. "No, I what to tell you!" she turned round and looked up into his eyes, there was something there between them both, and they both wanted the act on it. But John knew he couldn't not why she was in this situation. He slowly showed her over to the couch. "You tell me, in your own speed, okay." She nodded back; she didn't know where to start. "Well, better start from the beginning," she expected John to say something, but he didn't he was being patient. "I first meet Josh in my first week college, we hit it off straight away, but we didn't go out with each other until a few months later. My friends called me crazy, for not going for it straight away, but I told them I wasn't sure about it, I liked to get to know a person well before even thinking of getting into a relationship with them. Of course they thought I was crazy." She laughed at herself and John couldn't help himself, he also chuckled a laugh, She smiled at him. "Of course as you gathered we did go out with each other, and for months it was the best relationship I have ever been in. But he started to drink, it wasn't really anything serious at first, we just started to argue more. And after about two months of this arguing stage, it seemed it calm down again, of course I convinced myself it was going to be okay and that he loved me." She stated at John, he saw that the worst was about to come. He reached over to Lucy placed his hand on her shoulder and gilded her back so she was sitting back in the couch, with his arm still round her shoulder. Which gave her the strength to go on with the story. "He then started to come home, and he was more drunk then I have ever seen him before, it started with him slapping me round the face at first I remember now me thinking I shouldn't do that again. But I don't actually remember what it was that made him slap me.  This went for about 2 months, I don't know when but he started to come home and he just started to hit  me continuously, even then he wasn't drunk. And because by this time I was totally scared of him so didn't tell anyone. Started lying about how I got the bruises to my friends and eventually I stopped see my friends and after about 1 month been isolated from my friends I got the courage to ask him to leave. But before then he forced me to have sex, it wasn't the first time he forced me to have sex, but before because I was so scared to fight against him I didn't stop. And do you know what the worst part was not him hitting me but the sex he forced on me the first time he forced me I cried all the way though. But that wasn't the worst after that I never really wanted to have sex with him again but I didn't have the courage to say stop. The other times after that I always started to cry before he even enter me and is mad him mad some times so when he did enter me pump deep and hard, harder I have ever had sex before and it was so painful and because I cried out in more pain and because each time I cried out he pumped deeper and harder then he did before. And so after I few times I found out I can't walk sometimes and once I was better again he insisted on having sex again. And my body responded by is by reacting, I became extremely nervous I my virginal muscles started to tighten up, so this time then he enter me then he pumped as deep as before it was double the pain before, and because as before each time I screamed he pumped deeper. After that time that's then I got the courage to tell a friend and we went to the doctors to have me check out. Because I realised there was something wrong the pain didn't subside and by this time it had been two days. The doctor did some tests I could tell by his face it wasn't good, he said there was I possibility I could never have children." Then she said that John's face just dropped to the floor but he knew she wasn't finished, so he looked back up toward her. "Of cause that was the last straw Michelle that's my friend stayed with me and we went to the police and when I went round to tell him I was leaving him with the police right telling him charges were being brought upon him. They arrested him right there in front of me which made me feel better. I got the test results back from the doctors he said if I rested for two months not moving one inch, along with a few course of antibiotics and pain killers, home calls from the him once a week. There was a good possibility I still could have children, it was good to hear that I don't think I could handle anymore bad news. Of cause he convicted and put in jail for three years and after all the resting I was told I could have children even Thou he told me no sex for the few years. Of cause he knew I wouldn't after what I went thought but it became a little joke about I was the only 18-19 year old not having sex!" Lucy Laughs a little at what just said, but then just she broke down and started crying, she tilted her head into his chest, and he put other arm round her and hugged her until the tears where gone. They sat there in silence for a while; he couldn't believe what he just heard, she went into great detail, he ever imaged being that bad of course he has heard stories on TV about cases like this, but he ever thought he would ever meet one of those case's. He so wanted more then he did before to hug and kiss her passionately so she would know other people especially him cared for her and they weren't all ass holes like Josh. But he wasn't going to make the first move it may scare her, and then he wouldn't have any chance with her. Also the first move had to come from Lucy, she was the one that had been though so much.

John awoke, he realised they had fell asleep in each other's arms. And he liked the feeling of holding her when he woke up. She was starting to wake up as well, and it finally dawn on her they fell asleep in each other's arms. She didn't want is moment to finish, but it had to sometime, "What time is it?" She said as she was yawning. "Don't know but it's light out so I say is morning!" "It's good then we don't have to go into work today" He nodded with her, he was also glad they didn't have to go to work, as he was thinking this, she tighten her grip round his body. He liked it she didn't want him to leave, but why and he needed to find out why, maybe she did like him! That's probably why she didn't want him the leave.  He pushed her off of him, she looks up in a face that didn't understand, why he was doing that! "John what's wrong?" "Lucy, I can't do this!" "Do what John, you are not making any sense" she touch his head. "Maybe, you did hit your head harder then we thought." He pushed her hand away "No there's nothing wrong with my head, what I mean is I can't stand back and denied my feelings for you, while you hug me like that. Its torture for me." He looked that her sincerely, and he immediately was a glow of happiest come into Lucy's eyes. "Really!" he was shocked to hear that from Lucy, and he started smiling uncontrollably. "Yes" She couldn't hold back her happiest much longer "I didn't think you thought of me that way! I thought it was me alone who thought that!" They both smiled at each other, he touched her face with his hand. And slowly brought her face closer to his, she then placed her hand round the back of his neck. There lips touch each other, and the kiss was first of all was so gentle and soft, which turned into the most passionate kiss they both had ever experience. Which leaded on to be more then a kiss and they had the best sexual experience of their lives. 

By now they were in the bedroom, and they held each other tightly, they both couldn't believe they felt the same for each other, and they had actually acted on that feeling, something they both said they wouldn't do.

**The End of this Story, but there is a sequel to this story. So watch out for the second part coming soon called ****Listening to the heart.**


	2. Listening to the Heart

Disclosure: I do not own any of the ER characters Louise Mills Louise Mills 19 335 2001-03-04T20:07:00Z 2001-03-19T22:56:00Z 6 3137 17881 mills 149 35 21959 9.2720 4.5 pt 2 2 

**Disclosure: I do not own any of the ER characters.                   **

**Listening to The Heart, this is a Carter and Lucy story. **

**Written by Louise Mills.**

John and Lucy fell asleep in each other's arms knowing they didn't have to go into work for another two days.

The Next Morning,

Lucy awakes and finds herself still warped up in John's arms. She knew they could get in really big trouble for what they have done, forming a relationship. But she really didn't care any more a she was in the arms of the person she loved. She slowly moved john's arms making sure she wouldn't wake him. As she climbed out of the bed, she turned to look at him he looked so peaceful and happy.

Lucy grabbed her dressing gown and put it on and made her way to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. 

Lucy put the kettle on and went over to the fridge to see what she could cook them both. The fridge was pretty bare except for some sausages and a little milk. She took the contains of the fridge out, and realised there wasn't much of each item. And she had the craving of a large breakfast as she was quite hungry and she was sure John would be, so she decided to get dress and down to the local shops.

She went back into the bedroom trying to get dress without making much noise, She stared at John the whole time she was getting dressed, and it looked like he wouldn't wake up for sometime. But just in case he did wake up, she wrote him a note, saying she be back soon as she was getting some supplies for breakfast, she placed the note on the part of the bed she was laying on, so he would not miss it if he did wake up.

20 Minutes later,

As Lucy opened the door she looked round her apartment to see if John had woke up. But there was no sign of him in the living area, she placed the shopping bags on the side of the kitchen and walked towards her bedroom.

John was still asleep, but he had changed position lie he had woken up but went straight back to sleep. She removed the note she written earlier so he would know when he wakes up again she was back in the apartment again. She looked at John again and she did know before this morning he was good looking, but now he was the most hansom man she knew. She sat on the bed and leaned over to John and kissed him lightly on the lips, and he stirred a little, but he didn't wake up. She knew she could have waked him up by kissing him, but she just couldn't resist. She stood up and walked over to the kitchen.

She opened the bags and empty them of there contains, She placed the items she didn't buy for breakfast in the appropriate places. She has brought some bacon, fresh tomatoes and mushrooms that she was going to lightly fry, to go with the sausages and eggs. She also got some fresh orange juice and bread for toast.

She went through her cupboards looking for the frying pan and olive oil. She lilts the gas hob and placed the frying pan on the ring with about 2 teaspoons of olive oil. She let the oil warm for a while before she placed the food in the pan.

John wakes up to find the bed empty next to him, he new when he first woke up she went to the shop a he reads the note she left. He didn't know why he was expecting to see her there when see came back but he did. He realised the note was gone, which he knew meant she was back and preparing breakfast. He climbs out of bed and picks up his clothes and got dressed he wanted to go and hug Lucy. And he didn't want to do that with nothing on when she was dressed. He looked round the room to see if he left anything and as he did he saw he reflection in the mirror. He had a red mark on the left hand corner of his forehead where he had hit his head on the floor. And he knew he was going to get a bruise.

John opened the door of the bedroom and saw Lucy was making breakfast in the kitchen. He slowly closed the door so she wouldn't hear it close. He tipped toed over to where she was cooking; Lucy hadn't notice John was coming towards her. When he was in arms length of Lucy he moved his arms round her waist and hugged her and said, "Good Morning gorgeous" and he kissed her on the side of the neck. Lucy smiled and said good morning back and she turned round from the cooker to face John. They kissed and embraced each other as Lucy pulled away to get back to the cooking she noticed the mark on his forehead. "God, John looks like you going to have one hell of a bruise, you want me to kiss it better?" He smiled cheekily to her, "That would be nice." She put her hands on his shoulders and tipped toed so she could kiss his forehead just where the red mark was, he wrapped his arms round her waist as she was kissing his forehead, and he didn't want to let go. "John, could you please let me finish breakfast?" John let her go and he walked over to the dinner table where he noticed plates and juice where waiting. He sat down and admired her from a distant. To him right now Lucy was beautiful, intelligent, strong women and who had made an attachment to him, which he thinks he is completely the opposite kind of person, to the women cooking breakfast for them both.

Lucy brought over the cooked food over on a plate and placed it in the middle of the table so they could chose what they wanted. "Lucy, it looks great! You didn't say you were this good at cooking!" She smiled at him for his complement, but thought she was no good at cooking. "I'm better being a med student than I am at cooking, believe me I was as surprised as you when I saw how good it looked." He didn't say anything back as he knew she was probably right. As she was a lot better at medicine then he ever gave credit for. He wanted to tell her that but didn't think it was the right time.

Later that day,

After breakfast they made their ways over to the couch to watch TV, they were still there until 3pm. By this time Lucy had made her way from sitting next to John, to being cradles in his arms lying across the couch. But they were both asleep rather then watching TV. They both suddenly awoke then they heard their pagers going off. Lucy quickly moved to the pagers that were in the kitchen. And John stays on the couch and waited for Lucy to tell him they were needed in the ER. As he knew that the only reason they would be paged, when they had days off was because they were short handed. "John guess what?" she said with a frown on her face, "we've needed at the hospital?" "Yeah" "Well then we better go, but we will take our time and walk there!" "Walk there! Its two miles! Why would you want to walk there we can just take your car?" John face changed from smiling happily to a serious look. She also gets serious and worried as well as she knew he wasn't telling her everything. "John what is it?" "Well, what if I told you I kind of still have a headache!" Lucy starts to get more worried and also angry. "And I would tell you back, why didn't you tell me!" "Lucy, I didn't want to go down the hospital. I wanted to spend my time with you. Anyway it's not as bad as yesterday. I said to myself if it got any worst, I'd tell you, and then go to the hospital. "John, Okay I can understand that, but you must know it must be quite a bad headache if you aren't willing to drive!" "No, I can drive I just wanted to walk because we have a little more time together before walking through the doors of the ER. You do know we can't show how we feel about each other at the hospital. Well not right now anyway! We would be in a lot of trouble and you could be kicked out of medical school and I could loss my job. And believe me I don't want that for you or me!"

"Yes, I know that", Lucy had said in the most disappointing voice, she did know what he said was true, but didn't want to see the reality of their situation. John got off the couch and kiss Lucy on the lips and reassured her they wouldn't need to sneak around that long, Well that's what he hoped. They had decided they it was better for them to drive in case they were needed urgently.

They arrived at the hospital; John didn't drive to the car park, but decided to park in the street just outside the entrance of the ER. Dr Greene, Dr Corday, and carol were waiting in the ambulance bay as they arrived. And Carol was the only one of he three who had noticed that John had drove pass the bay with Lucy in the passenger seat. She got very curious about that situation and remembers her suspensions from yesterday about them two liking each other. So she told herself to find out from them both after this trauma if they do like each other and how they came to be in the same car. She knew it could be possible that John saw Lucy walking in the hospital as he was driving and decided to give her a lift. But her imagination was starting to run away with itself.

John turned off the engine and opens his door and is about to step out when Lucy grabs his arm and says nervously. "John, Carol, Dr Greene and Corday, what if they saw as in the car together! If any of them asks, how are we going to explain ourselves?" John Closes his door and looks at Lucy assuredly, "Lucy, we just tell them the truth." She looks at him with dreading eyes. "That I went to your house, I felt a little ill and my headache got worst and you told me I was in no shape to drive home. So you said to stay and I slept on your couch. Lucy don't worry everything is going to be okay!" He leaned over and kisses her and she kissed him back. They both got out of the car and went towards the ambulance bay.

Carter and Lucy were walking close together; close enough for them sometimes for there hands to brush pass each other. Which was to become their sign of intimacy between them. But also not close enough to raise any suspension. Except of course Carol does think that they were walking a little bit too close. And she can't wait until she tells someone that there was a possibility Carter and Lucy had finally got it together.

Dr Greene wasn't that surprised to see John and Lucy together. As he told John he didn't want Lucy to be on her own last night and if needed to stay close. Dr Corday was the first the greet them both, "So you two feeling okay today?" "Fine" Lucy answered straight away. "John what about you?" "Okay I suppose, still have a little headache but I did hit my head hard yesterday on the floor." An ambulance was just pulling up so Lucy and John decided to get out of their way and go to put their things away!! Not many people saw them come in which Lucy was happy about for she was still anxious, and John couldn't really blame her it was difficult keeping how they feel from each other. They knew they would have to keep their relationship away from the hospital, but they both didn't realise how difficult it would be, not to be near each other in the respect of holding each other. They both knew it was going to be a long day.

After the trauma Carol went quickly over to Jerry to tell him what she saw yesterday and today and told him what her suspensions were. And of course Jerry totally believes Carols suspensions. And rumours about Carter and Lucy soon were all over the ER.

Dr Greene walks out of trauma one he wanted to talk to John and Lucy. He was getting a little worried about what John said earlier about still having a headache. Dr Greene called them in to work to take a few minor cases, why the other doctors were dealing with the multi traumas, which were coming in. If he knew john still had a headache he would of insisted to stay at home.

Dr Greene found John and Lucy in exam 3 working with a patient that had a deep cut on his arm; it was obvious he would need sutures. Dr Greene walked into the room, Lucy and John turned around the acknowledged he was there. John turned to Lucy, " Why don't you do the sutures and I be with Dr Greene if you need me!" She looked carefully up at John; it wasn't like him to give up suturing someone to talk with another doctor, even Dr Greene. She was started to get worried and it showed, she knew she would have to reply soon, so she said the only thing that came to her mind. "Sure thing, Dr Carter." John noticed the worried look on Lucy face and in her voice. So he gave her a re-insurance look at nothing was wrong. John walk towards Mark and they step out of the door.

"John, you okay? It's not like you to give up sutures!" John knew if he lied to Mark that he would immediately know he was lying, he never knew how people know when he was lying it must be something in his expressions. So he decision then that he should be honest, "Well………I still have a little headache, and I knew you came to see me. As I told you I had a headache earlier." "Yes, that is why I wanted to see you, John I know you probably don't want to hear is, but I have to ask. Has the headache got worst or better since earlier?" John consider Mark question for a while as he wasn't sure how to answer the question, as some times it seemed better and other times it seemed worst. "Dr Greene I honestly don't know, sometimes it seems better and other times it doesn't…you want to do enough CAT scan don't you?" "Yes, I think it would be better just to double check everything is okay." John nodded okay to Dr Greene, which made him little worried, as John wasn't resisting him. Which told Dr Greene maybe John was worried about himself, and maybe his holding out on him that about how bad his headache really was. "I just finished up with is patient and I make my way up to the CAT scan." Mark watches carefully over at John as he walks back into the exam room.

Lucy was just finishing off the sutures when John walked back into the exam room. She looked to who just walked in and noticed it was John and smiled at him, she picked up the chart signed the bottom and walked over to John, "Carter, I need you to sign woodhouse's chart!" "Sure" He took the chart checked a few things and signed the bottom as instructed. Lucy smiled back at John and turned to Mr Woodhouse, "Well, Mr woodhouse you can go home now. If you get a headache or feel sick in any kind, please come back to the hospital." "Thank you both" Lucy and John just smiled at Mr woodhouse and walked out the exam room.

Lucy signed; John could tell that she was tried "Luce maybe we could get off soon, you looked tried and I differently need some more sleep." Lucy smiled and answered quietly "Now that would be nice!!" She wanted to hug him and put her head against his chest, she always safe and needed when he held her like that. They both starred a each other wanting the same thing, but they knew they can't not here, and differently not now.  He had to tell her about the tests he needed, his faced turned serious and Lucy knew he wasn't telling her something. "What's wrong, John?" John looks down at his hands; Lucy decides whom cares if someone from see someone, we can just denied it, plus he needs me can tell. Lucy places her hands in John's in a comforting way he look up to her surprised she do anything that looks suspicious but he didn't care right now he was scared and he had to tell her. In a gently soft voice he tells her "I'm scared" she knew just looking into his eyes that he was indeed scared but she wasn't so sure what about. She looked around and saw that exam 6 was free, so she led him over to the room.

Lucy closed the door behind her and looked toward John waiting for him to speck. They just stayed there quiet for a few and she knew she would have to start the conversion. "John, you still have a headache don't you?" He turned towards her she knew what was wrong, but I suppose anyone could work out he still had a headache, as he was giving up on a lot of procedures. "Yes, and that's what's worry me I have had concussions before…" "But" he looked to Lucy, how she know there was a but coming, he silently laughs at her. "You know me to well" "Cut to the chase John, I'm really worried about you, its not like you give up on procedures like you have been doing all day." Lucy walked over to john who was sitting on the bed, "But I have never had a headache is bad with a concussion before. That's what's scaring me!" John puts his hands on Lucy waist and pulled her towards him, and hugged her. "I'm going to have another CAT scan to make sure there's nothing wrong, also I would like you draw some blood and run a full blood work-up." Lucy pulls away from John and looks at him to see if was being serious there was no reason he should need full blood work-up. "Lucy, please don't look at me that way, I just what to be sure that nothing else this causing this headaches." "You have an idea what's wrong with you don't you?" He didn't look at Lucy and she knew than he did. "Please John tell me?" she said in a gently voice, he always told her what was on his mind, when she spoke to him in that voice. He replied so quietly she nearly didn't hear him, "Leukaemia" "did I just hear you say Leukaemia? John one hit of your head on the floor and a continuous headache doesn't mean you have Leukaemia" John didn't say anything he just starred down at his hands. She suddenly knew he had other symptoms and it had been going on for a while. "How long have you thought you may have Leukaemia?" He looks up to Lucy, he had tears in his eyes, "For about a month!" after saying that he just broke down crying. 

Lucy went back over to him and hugged him until the tears subsided, and making sure no one could see though the windows she gently kissed John on the kiss. John kissed her back but is time the kiss was more wanting and passionate and strong. Lucy's lips pull away and she spoke, "We should probably put your mind at rest as soon as possible I get the blood kit." John just smiles at Lucy and says, "Thanks, don't think I could trust anyone, except you to do this for me!" She turned round did John think I was pitying him. "John I love you, I do anything for you, but I will never pity you! All I see when I look at you is love." "Really?" "Yes", and she walks over and kisses him again. She starts the prep the needle and draws some blood. John has left the room for the CAT scan and she starts to wonder whose name to put on the test tube. Lucy decides on Mr B. Carter after Johns late brother Bobbie, he probably kill me for putting his name on the tube but it was the first name that came in her head. After all John's brother did die of Leukaemia, that the main reason John became a doctor. Something came to her if Bobbie survived she probably wouldn't of known John. She made herself not think of that it wasn't nice to speck about the dead that way.

A few Hours,

John had come back the CAT scan and it showed everything was normal, so Dr Greene said he was lucky and the headaches were probably just his mind telling him to take it easy. Dr Greene Told John to go home get some rest, but instead to stay and Dr Greene knew he couldn't change John mind, Said "Well, okay but take it easy okay, Carter!" "Sure thing Dr Greene." John did want to go home but he would be worrying about his blood results, and knew he couldn't get asleep with that still to come. 

The ER seemed to get extremely quite all the sudden, Carol and Jerry were once side of the reception desk and John and Lucy the over. Carol and Jerry could see John and Lucy were taking about something and they tried there hardest to over hear what they were saying. Just encase they said something about them to being together, but unfortunately they were caught by John and Lucy trying to over hear them, so John and Lucy decided they would retire into the Lounge. Carol and Jerry were watching there very move, "See there Jerry, they have kept doing that today?" Jerry couldn't tell what Carol was on about, "Doing what? I am looking but I can't really see anything suspicious." "There hands brush pass each other for a instant which as everyone knows is a sign of intimacy for people in a secret relationship, and when people ask them about it, they will just say I didn't know we were doing that. It happen accidentally, but if it happens more then twice it's not accidental and I tell you I have seen them do that about 20 times today!!!!!" "Know you mention it there have been doing that a lot lately, just rises our case about them to being involved."

Lucy was sitting down on the couch amused by watching John nervously walking round the lounge like a chicken. "John, why don't you sit down for a while, walking around not going to make much difference about how long the test will take!" John stops dead in his tracks and looks at Lucy, "I suppose you are right." He walks over to her sits down and takes her hand in his, she looks at him she wasn't sure they should be holding hands just encase someone did walk in. But looking at his face she realised he needed to hold hands for comfort, and by her, he wanted the one he loved to comfort him. Suddenly the lounge door opened they both looked around it was Jerry, and he was them holding hands and they didn't let go while standing there. Jerry didn't speck for a while and John got impatient, "Jerry, was there something you wanted?" "Yeah sorry some results came back down from the labs for a Mr B. Carter" John looked at Lucy in a face saying why that name, all she could do was shrugged her shoulders. "Yes, and?" "Did you order them?" John stayed quiet for a while, pretending to think about the question Jerry asked, "Yeah I think I did!" John gets up and walks over to Jerry, and takes the results, "Thanks Jerry," "No problem, relate of yours?" John signed deeply, "Yeah". Jerry decided it was best to leave after all he had know more rumours to spread about John and Lucy. 

John opened the results and just look at them, "John good news or bad news?"

To Be Continued ……Part Three Called **Hearts Desire**


	3. Hearts Desire

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters Louise Mills Louise Mills 15 272 2001-04-08T12:09:00Z 2001-04-20T13:01:00Z 6 3372 19222 mills 160 38 23605 9.2720 4.5 pt 2 2 

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters.**

**Hearts Desire, Carter and Lucy Story.**

**Written By Louise Mills.**

John continued to look down at the piece of paper. Lucy could tell by the way he didn't answer her or lookup, that it was bad news. And that John was right about having Leukaemia. Lucy walked over to John and placed one of her hands on his shoulder. "John!" John finally looks up to Lucy and there were tears in his eyes. "Oh John". Lucy didn't like watching him being so upset, she needed to comfort him and if she didn't soon, she knew that she would be crying. She places one of her hands on his face and brings him closer to her and kisses him.

After the kiss he wraps his arms round her waist ad hugs her tightly. "Lucy!" "Yes John" "You will be here for me? I mean I still want to be with you, that's if you still want to be with me?" "John, did you really have to ask, of course I be there for you and don't be so stupid I love you and I do want to be with you, more then anything in the world. Why would you think that you having leukaemia would change that?" He looked down into her eyes and saw only love in them, so he decided to answer her question with honesty "Because I will get extremely ill, and I thought you would think 'I should be living my life instead of caring for someone who's really ill'." Lucy Laughs at the answer, "John kind of a stupid answer that is. I work in a hospital, I'm around a lot of sick people everyday and you are not going to be sick forever you will get better and we will be together." John smiles he knew she was right, "well the first thing I should do is to get a bone marrow tap, and find out what type of Leukaemia I will be dealing with." All Lucy could do was nod with agreement. John took one of his hands and placed it on her hair, and started to gently stoke her hair. She glances up at John and they stare at each other for a while. "Luce, I love you" "I love you too." They are about to kiss, when the door of lounge opened, Lucy and John turn round ton see Jerry and Carol standing there. 

As John turned around Carol could tell he had been crying and that there was something wrong. Carol wanted to say something like I told you them two were together, but she couldn't say a thing. Jerry was the one to say something "Oh man we knew something was going on!!" And he quickly darted out of the door to the reception desk. Carol just stared at John and Lucy, she wanted to know why John had been crying. "Carter, what's wrong? And don't try and lie I know when your lying." John sat down on the couch and Lucy followed him and sat down, "Okay now what is it?" She said getting a little impatient of having to wait for an answer to her question. John lowered his head into his hands not knowing how to start telling carol. John breathed deeply in and out and slowly raised his head to look at carol. "Carol, I have Leukaemia!" She gasped more surprised at this news than seeing them two nearly kissing. "Do…do…you know what kind of leukaemia you have?" "Not ject I'm about to go and get a biopsy. Carol can you please not tell anyone ject not until I know what exactly is going on. And until I have time to tell Dr weaver and Dr Greene." In no more than a whisper she answered "Of course".

Mean while at the reception desk.

"What did you just say? I wasn't really concentrating on the conversion when I realised you were talking abut Carter and Lucy. I thought you were going to say they were fighting, not nearly kissing! I did hear you right?" Chuni said questioning what he just them, she knew thy liked each other because when she caught them in exam 6, then they weren't nearly kissing but were kissing. After she caught them there been a pot on them two of then would they get together, but that was nearly a year ago now. And since then it just seemed to cool down between them two very quickly. "Yes, they were holding each other tightly and their lips were about to touch each other when me and Carol walked in." Randy was the next to speck she was curious of who won the money in the pot. "So Jerry how much money was in the pot?" Jerry stood there thinking back as he wasn't sure, "between $200-$250!" "Wow as much as that! So who won?" "Dr Greene." Everyone looked at Jerry direction they knew Dr Greene liked placing money down on who was to get together in the ER. But they all thought is time he wouldn't place a bet on Carter and Lucy because it was against hospital policy for them to be together. Well maybe he was betting because he knew it was going to happen and knew he couldn't stop them. 

The door of the lounge opened and they looked and saw carter was walking out. They just stared and carter knew why they were, so he turned round to tem smiled and said "Don't you have anything to do?" They all replied at the same time. "Not really" Carter chuckled and finished by saying "I thought so!!" and he finally went towards the lifts to get the biopsy.

Meanwhile back in the lounge.

The second the door closed behind John, Lucy started to sob. She walked over to the couch and dropped down on to it. And she started to really cry, Carol knew exactly how she felt she wanted to start crying as well but she was still in stock about the whole situation.

Lucy started to speck, "why did this have to happen?" Carol didn't say anything, she didn't have an answer, and she so wanted to wish it was all a dream. "Oh, look at me, crying I promised myself I wouldn't start crying for John's sake. I need to seem strong about this." She just stared at Carol wishing she Carol would say something. "Lucy, you do need to be strong, but that doesn't mean you can't cry. You need to let out how you fell! And he will have to know, even just to let him know you care." Carol walked over to her locker and got some tissue and gave it to Lucy. "Thank you" Carol looked at Lucy she noticed Lucy called Carter John, which Carter didn't like unless he deeply cared for that person, and he didn't seem to care Lucy calling him John, Wow she thought. Obviously Lucy cared deeply for Carter, she still wanted to know how much. But she didn't know if she should ask, it was kind of a rude question to ask, oh what the heck I will ask. "Lucy, how much do you like Carter?" Lucy looked down at her hands, which were starting to tremble; she couldn't hide to fact from carol now that she really did care for John deeply. "Carol promise you won't tell anyone!" Lucy looked at her pleadingly, Carol knew what Lucy was about to say meant Carter and Lucy could get in trouble and she couldn't do that to them. "Of course I promise." Lucy signed heavily she couldn't believe she was going to tell someone and from the hospital. "I love John carol, I really do so much. John is my best and closest friend I have. He has helped me though so much. And last night we both realised we love each other." Carol knew they liked each other a lot but didn't think they loved each other. "You sure its love and not just like each other really a lot?" Lucy looked sincerely at Carol and starred straight into her eyes so Carol could tell that they were in love and not infatuated with each other. "Yes Carol we are in love." One look at Lucy and carol knew she was telling the truth. "Lucy, why don't you dry your eyes, splash some water on your face and go out see some patients, to take your mind off of this thing with Carter!" Lucy nodded agreeing with Carol. "Okay, I'll be going now then why don't you once dealt with yourself find me and I can help you while Carter's upstairs." Lucy nodded again "Thanks Carol, I don't think I would have been able to hold all is in without getting myself ill. I'm glad I can't talk to someone about this?" "Your welcome and you know if you need to talk about anything my door is always open. Especially if it includes information about you and Carter, after all I am the only one who knows officially about you two!!"  Carol turned around and walked out of the lounge door, she knew she was going to be bombarded with questions about Carter and Lucy. But she was determined to keep their secret, as they needed each other now more then ever. Lucy took in what Carol just said and was working out what she meant. Then it dawned on her Jerry also walked in on them nearly kissing now there would be rumours and gossip about them two being together, again. She remember all the gossip going around last time when Chuni caught them kissing in exam 6 that lasted for months she was wondering now long it will last this time.

Up at the Oncology department.

John was waiting in the oncology department's waiting room; there were a few patients before him waiting for biopsies. For every minute he waited the more nervous and scared he got. A part of him didn't want to believe what was happening and hoping it was a dream. And the other half was realising how serious it was and imaging the worst-case scenario 'No don't start that line of thinking you always tell patients not too and to be positive always helps with the situation' John said to himself. A doctor came out of a room and had a chart in his hands. "John Carter." John rose to his feet, he didn't realised how difficult it was going to be, he wanted Lucy for support. "Right is way Mr Carter," and stepped into a room and closed the door once John was in the room. "Dr Weatherspoon, my title is actually Dr." Dr Weatherspoon looks up at John, "So you work there, Dr Carter?" "Yes, down in the ER." "So I don't have to explain to you what the procedure entails" John smiled "No Dr Weatherspoon." Dr Weatherspoon was glad to hear that, sometimes he found himself like a trained monkey. As he always had to say the same thing to everyone who came though his door. "So Dr Carter it says there your there for a bone marrow biopsy. So why don't change into a grown and then lay on the bed on your side." John nodded and went to change in the room next door. "Dr Carter I forgot to ask, are you allergic to lignocaine?" Dr Weatherspoon shouted so John could hear him in the next room. John walked back into the room, "No, Dr Weatherspoon" "Great" and taped on the bed indicating John to hop on. John hesitated for a while but decided quicker the better. 

Lucy looked at herself in the mirror finally she looked like she hadn't been crying. She signed Heavily and spoke aloud "time to mangle with the loins." Lucy walked out of the lounge and everyone turned round and looked at her. The looks aimed at her made her feel uneasy. She looked for Carol amongst the people at the desk, she really needed Carol to be there she had a over whelming feeling that she was going to start crying again. Lucy slowly walked up to the reception desk, "Hi guys anyone seen…" Randy interrupted her before she could finish her sentence. "Carter!" Lucy just stared at her, "No, Carol!" Randy suddenly turned around she was so sure Lucy would what Carter, they always seemed to be either searching for each other or in each other's shadows. "Come on Guys has anyone seen Carol?" Jerry peered from behind the magazine he was reading, "I think Dr Malucci needed her help in exam 4." "Thanks" Lucy ran off into the direction of exam 4. "Jerry you are sure what you say you saw between Carter and Lucy actually happen?" Randy said impatiently to Jerry. "Yeah, why all the sudden are you doubting what I said I saw." Chuni was the one to answer the question. "Because Carol stayed in the lounge with Carter and Lucy, and we asked her if what you saw was true and she said 'what!! Jerry's gone and ran away with his imagination again'. And Lucy seemed fine a minute ago." Jerry was getting a little angry of what they just said, "You sure Carol said that, because she's the one who told me she thought Lucy and Carter were together." They all looked at each other and though 'what could Carol be hiding from them about Carter and Lucy for her to lie to them.'

Lucy sure enough found Carol helping Malucci in Exam 4, she opened the door, and Carol noticed Lucy looked a lot better, but anyone could see there was something wrong. "Need any help? Carter's doing something for a few hours" Without turning around Malucci answer her "sure, so what's he doing?" Lucy was stunned by the question and she didn't know how to answer. Carol was the one who helped to relief Lucy from answering the question. She could tell didn't know what to say, and was scared to answer. "Carter's helping me with some research, while it's quite and nurses can't leave their posts as often as doctors can." Malucci didn't ask her any more questions so she hoped he expected her answer. "So what can I help you with?" "If you could keep him still I need to do a spinal tap." "Sure."

After the biopsy John decided he couldn't wait in the hospital for the results. He needed to clear his head and think about the immediate future. So he decided he go the only place he know he could think up on the roof. John walked over to the railing on the roof and looked out over the city. He slowly turned around and sat down on the floor with his back to the wall. He knew he would have to put his residency on hold, but he didn't want to left his job right at this minute. He would be ill from the treatment for months, he would have to discuss the details of his future with Weaver and Greene when he tells them. And that also bother him even though he had known them for years he didn't know how to break it to them.

Back down in the ER.

Chuni and randy left the desk and was heading towards the exam room Carol was in. They knew now Carol had lied to them, and they wanted to know why, they had an idea that she was keeping something a secret, which involved Carter and Lucy. Carol was just coming out of the room with Lucy as they approached the room. "Carol what's going on? We know you were lying to us earlier about Carter and Lucy!!" Chuni said in a raised voice. Carol looked over at Lucy, and it seemed she was handling the situation quite well. Carol looked back at Chuni who was starting to get a little red in the face. She knew the reason for that was because she hadn't given an answer straight away. "Sorry", Carol said, she didn't know why she said anything; she didn't have to explain her actions. "Sorry!! That all!! So you admit you were lying?" Carol didn't answer she had promised Lucy she wouldn't say anything and she was intending to keep her promise. "Okay, you don't have to say a thing all it does is prove our point. All we want to know is what's so god damn important for you to keep quiet??" Carol stayed silent and Chuni knew she wasn't going to get anything out of her. So she quickly turned around and walked back to the desk. Randy followed suit she was surprised she didn't even open her month.

Carol turned to Lucy and said "Sorry I nearly opened my mouth and said everything! Its just so damn hard to keep it to myself." Lucy just smiled that Carol, she knew what Carol was going though it was hard for her as well. "Thank you, anyway Carol, and you don't have to worry much longer. John should have his results soon!" "Lucy?" "Yes" "I have only noticed something!" "What?" she said quite sharply and carol face turned to a smirk, "You are calling Carter, John at work!" Lucy's face turned to a shocked expression, "I hadn't noticed", Lucy throw her hands in the air, "Oh well I suppose its too late to hind our relationship." And she started to laugh and Carol joined in and started laughing.

John was sitting on the roof holding an envelope what he got from the oncology department 30 minutes before. He still hadn't opened it knowing all to well it had his test results enclosed. He knew he should open it and get whatever leukaemia he had treated as soon as possible.

Lucy was at the reception desk glancing up at the clock and biting her nails. It ha been 2 hours since John went and got his biopsy, she knew he would of got his results by now. Carol walked up to the desk and looked in direction, whom she could tell was a nervous wreck and everyone could see that. "Any news ject Lucy? Lucy looked towards Carol, "No, doesn't he know I would be worrying?" Everyone turned and starred at Lucy they so wanted to know whom she was talking about, as this person was making Lucy worried and unhappy. And they didn't like seeing Lucy look like that. "Then Lucy why don't you go and see him?" "I went up to the 4th floor his wasn't there!" Carol smiled at Lucy she knew Carter would be on the roof, and deep down Lucy knew too but Lucy's mind was being clouded by worry. "Lucy you know where he is! If his not up in oncology?" Lucy just looked at carol she wasn't sure where it was she was talking about. "You know! Where I always seem to see you two, trying to get a private moment!" Lucy realised then 'of course he be on the roof'. "Thanks Carol!" Lucy looked over at the board which seem to have hardly any ones name on it, so she turned to Dr Greene and said, "I'll be back in about 20 minutes" "Sure but make sure its only 20 minutes Lucy! Oh and if you see Carter around tell him he better have a good excuse for missing the last two hours!!" Lucy nodded and headed for the lifts.

Dr Greene watched Lucy as she went towards the lifts, he turned around to the people standing behind the desk, "okay what's wrong with Lucy?" Chuni answered Dr Greene bitterly "Ask Carol she knows everything about Carter and Lucy!" "What about Carter and Lucy?" "OH didn't you know you won the pot on them two!" "Your joking right, I only placed a bet for fun!" Realising they weren't joking he turned more serious, "I never actually thought Carter would ruin his Career. And I never thought he would ruin Lucy's chance of being a doctor." Jerry looked at Chuni and Randy what did he mean Lucy not becoming a doctor they all thought.

"What did you mean about Lucy, Mark?" Carol asked. "Well Lucy can be kicked out of medical school if the university ever found out." Carol quickly starred at the others, "So you lot better stop these rumours about them being together. Or at less much sure the board doesn't find out. Mark I need to talk to you privately" "Sure". They walked towards the lounge.

"Mark please don't say anything just listen" Mark kept silent waiting for carol to speck. "Okay. Are Carter and Lucy together? Yes, but I ensure you nothing more will came of their relationship while they are student and teacher. So please promise me you won't tell the board about them two especially Weaver. You know how she is about rules and regulation." Dr Greene and Carol just starred at each other, Mark told Carol he wouldn't tell the board or weaver depending what she said was true. Carol thanked him and they went on with their work.

Lucy found John on the roof and in his hand was the envelope with his results, she could see from where she was standing that he hadn't opened it ject. Lucy walks over to John and sits down beside him and puts one of her arms round his shoulders. "So, that's the results?" John nodded, "When why haven't you opened the envelope?" John looked at Lucy, "Because I'm scared of what it will say! Will you opened it for me?" Lucy was taken back by the request; she took the envelope and opened it. "John I don't think I will be able to read. I'm sorry!" "Its okay I know how you feel." They sat in silence just looking at the opened envelope, both of them to scared to read the letter inside. "Okay, I have an idea how about we both read it at the same time, that way we ca support each other!!" John liked Lucy's idea and they both took the letter out and readied the results. Lucy couldn't believe what she readied he had AML which was pretty rare for his age group, and hard to recover from. The water just started to well up he her eyes she didn't want to cry. She kept telling herself not to cry, but she could stop it she wanted to seem strong. "Oh Lucy!" John took both of his arms and wrapped them around her chest, and he held her until she stopped crying. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I started crying I know I didn't want to!" "Maybe you started crying because the one you love has a difficult road ahead. And its been building up inside of you for some hours and you can't kept it in any more. I don't blame you for crying I probably would have been crying too, if I hadn't cry myself out already." Lucy smiled at John she wanted to laugh but couldn't. Lucy suddenly shoot up on her feet, "Luce what's wrong?" "John what's the time?" "It's 4pm, why?" "Oh god I late I told Dr Greene I was only gone to be 20 minutes, and its been 40 minutes!" John smiled and slowly got up on to his feet, "well then we better get you down stairs, I better meet with Weaver and Greene, explain why I missed most of today and, why I can't be your teacher anymore!" Lucy smiled back, "And that's how you going to break it to them that you have Leukaemia, that you no longer can be my teacher?" He placed on of his arms round her shoulder and walked towards the roof door. "Well it was one of my ideas! But I do have more I can tell them, but that's the one I'm going to tell them first because I need your support as my girlfriend not just a friend or just some one at work. I love you and I need you." He turned round to face Lucy and told her he loved her again, and they kissed before going back down to the ER.

"Where the Hell is Lucy, I told her 20 minutes?" Jerry looked round the reception area, and was about to say I don't know. When from the corner of his eye he saw her walking off the lift with Carter, and could see she had been crying. "I'm she just coming out of the lift Dr Greene with Carter." Dr Greene turned and saw Jerry was right and walked towards the two of them. "Where the hell have you two been?" Dr Greene suddenly calmed down when he saw the state Lucy was in, "Okay what's going on? You okay Lucy? Has he upset you again?" Looking towards Carter when he said it. "No he hasn't but if you don't mind I'm going to the bathroom." "Of course." And Lucy went on her way. Dr Greene looked at John and was about to say something when John spoke, "Dr Greene I know you are probably wondering where I have been all day! And I will explain, but I have I ask a request?" Dr Greene nodded for Carter to continue, "Well you heard probably heard about what happen between me and Lucy early, but that's not the main reason I am going to ask you this. Let me get this straight it is one of the reason, but not the main one!" "So what you trying to say?" "I request, no I tell you I can no longer be Lucy teacher." "So, its true you have gone and fallen in love with your med student!" "Yes I love Lucy, but that's not the reason I am requesting not to be Lucy's teacher, actual I will no longer to be able to work in the hospital!" Dr Greene was shocked to hear what Carter had just said, if Lucy wasn't the main reason, then what was, and why did it mean he would leave the hospital. "Are you okay John? That's the only reason I can think that you would leave the hospital for!" "No, I'm not well I have just been diagnosed with Acute Myeloblastic Leukaemia!"

To Be Continued……….

I would like to thank my friend Laura for helping me edit some of my stories.

And if you like to visit my website please go to www.angelfire.com/tv2/erfiction


	4. The Night of My Life

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters.**

**The Night of My Life, this is a Carter and Lucy Story.**

**Written By Louise Mills. **

**Please visit my web site at www.hacked2death.com/ERFanFiction**

Dr Greene and Weaver just stared at John hoping at what John had just said was wrong. John Just looked at Mark, who he could tell was shocked. John decided to tell them what arrangements have been made for his treatment. "Well, I'll be admitted tomorrow morning and my treatment will start immediately." Mark was still in a dazed state he just couldn't believe it. "Well aren't you going to say anything?" "Arh sorry John it's quite a shock, you aren't having much luck lately are you?" John just smiled and thought 'well in my personal life I am.' "Health wise no!" "So why you are you being admitted tomorrow, why not tonight I would of thought the doctors up on the oncology department would like to start treatment as soon as possible?" "Well they said if they did admit me tonight they still couldn't start treatment until tomorrow. So they said to go home and spend my time with family and friends tonight!" Kerry still hadn't said anything she was more shocked then Mark was, and she didn't hear one word of the conversion, which just took place between John and Mark. "Dr Weaver you okay? You have gone white, maybe you should sit down!" "No, I'm okay." The colour was finally coming back to her face. "John?" "Yes, Dr Weaver" "We will still pay you full pay." "Thank you, that would be helpful." Kerry looked into John's eyes she could tell the full effect of this situation hadn't hit him ject. "John I hope you know we will be there for you!" John looked round the ER and his glace fell upon Lucy, still staring at her at the reception desk he said, "I know!" Kerry and Mark exchanged glances and smiled, they both thought, 'at least one good thing came out of this.'

Meanwhile at the reception desk.

"Lucy what you looking at?" Carol asked, "John his talking to Weaver and Greene right now." Carol looked in the direction Lucy was looking in. What Lucy and Carol didn't know was the entire staff round the desk had stopped working and was starring at Lucy. There were whispers between a few of the nurses. "Did Lucy just call Carter, John?" "Sounded like that!" "God now that's proof their together." Carol looked back at Lucy, "So how do you think it's going?" "Well at first not that well, but that's probably only because of the way he told them he can't work anymore. But now they seem shocked, Weaver more so then Greene." Everyone's mouth's dropped the minute Lucy said that, and Chuni shook her head and got the courage to talk. "Lucy, is Carter quitting?" Lucy looked in the direction of the nurses, which had gathered. "No his taking medical leave! I can't say anymore then that!" Lucy looked back towards John and he was glancing around the place, and he eyes finally fixed on her. He said something to weaver and Greene and smiles formed on their faces. Lucy couldn't take her eyes off of John's eyes, she could drown in his eyes, she loved them they were his best feature. Lucy could see John was talking to weaver and Greene intensely, and the way they kept looking in her direction she could tell they were talking about her. 

John finished talking to Weaver and Greene and walked over to the reception desk. Deb was the first to talk, "John what's is about Medical Leave?" John quickly turned his head towards Lucy, and the look she gave him was 'sorry I had to tell them something.' He turned back round to the others and breathed in deeply, "I'm have Leukaemia, and treatment starts tomorrow!" Everyone went quiet not even a gasped of air could be heard. "Luce, Dr Green and Weaver need to talk to you, I'll be in the lounge once they have finished talking to you. Why don't you find me, okay!" Lucy smiled at John. "Sure!" Before leaving for the lounge John placed one of his hands on her face and started gently stoking under her chin, she smiled and he said, "I love you so much!" Everyone's head now perked up and in the direction of John's voice saying I love you to Lucy. "I love you too!" Lucy said forgetting everyone in the ER was watching; now the nurses and Dr Chen had their hands over their mouths, as they couldn't believe what was happening. John leaned down to Lucy and kissed her lightly on the lips, and she kissed him back, but a little more passionately. And there were shocked little screams coming from the nurses. John broke from their embrace and whisper to Lucy. "See you in the lounge." John turned and smiled cheekily to the nurses, and Lucy wore the biggest grin anyone had ever seen on her face. Everyone watched John walk into the lounge with a hop in his step, then all the faces turned to Lucy that's when Lucy remember she just kissed John in front of everyone. "I…I...I have to talk to Dr Weaver and Greene." Lucy quickly walked away, Chuni said out loud, "So I guess we be invited to the wedding!" they all started laughing and Lucy couldn't help but overhear and smile.

Dr Weaver and Greene were waiting patiently for Lucy in the hall across from the reception desk, and they had just seen what happen and were very happy for them both. Lucy walked towards the two of them nervously she was scared of what they were going to say. "Arh, Lucy we need to talk about assigning you a new resident or would you rather have Dr Greene your choice?" said Weaver calmly to Lucy. Lucy was expecting a talk about residents and med students not allowed to be involved with each other, she was surprised that they had except John and hers relationship. "Well if I have I choice I chose Dr Greene!" Dr Greene stepped in to talk, "Well then, I suggest we start slowly you can have tomorrow off. As John has expressed his feelings that he wishes you to accompany him tomorrow. Its obvious that you two care deeply for each other, and well be there for each other no matter what! So we will cut your shifts down to only 6 hours per shift. And when needed you can leave then ever!" "Really!" Lucy said with tears in her eyes, she was happy they were willing her to be there for John when he would need the most. "Oh Lucy what's wrong? Why don't you sit down?" Said Weaver, Lucy sat down as suggested, "I'm sorry you just don't know how much this means to me! I want to spend as much time with John, just in case." Weaver handed Lucy some tissue, "Lucy don't you even dare think that! His going to be okay his one of the nicest, kindest and strong in spirit person I know, and that's why his going to be okay! Now dry your eyes and take John home!" "Actually I think it be the over way round he still has to tell is family!" Lucy smiles and walks to the lounge.

John was sitting on the couch waiting for Lucy to arrive, Lucy walked in and sat down on the couch next to John, and he slowly placed his arm round her shoulders. "So, what now?" Lucy asked, John signed heavily, "I don't know, take one day at a time I suppose. Tell my family first! Will you come with me to tell my family and to the hospital tomorrow?" "Of course I will I do anything you want, you should know that?" He smiled at her. "I know, but I was taught to still ask and it's a hard habit to break." They laid back into each other's arms, not wanting the moment to finish. 

Carol walked into the lounge and saw Lucy and John on the couch, John was awake but Lucy was sound asleep in his arms. "Hi Carol," "Hi" she said as she was pouring a cup of coffee. "I thought you left 30 minutes ago!" he smiled at Carol and then turned to look at Lucy. "I didn't have the heart to wake her she looks so happy." Carol looks down at Lucy, "Yes, she does look happy, but you do know her heart is crying in pain?" she said still looking at Lucy. "I know she is I wish I could take it away! After all I'm the reason she's hurting." "Don't believe it's your fault, she doesn't. And she only feels the way she does because she loves you so much. She fears that she may loss you, the pain is more fear then remorse."  Carol walks out, and John decides to wake Lucy. "Luce, wake up!" "Go away! And let me sleep!" John laughs, "Luce, we have to be at my grandmothers in 20 minutes." Lucy slowly opens her eyes and realised they were still in the lounge of the ER. "Oh god, I thought we were at my apartment!" John smiles, "That's obvious, come on we have to go." Lucy groans and gets up from the couch John also gets up and walks over to the coffee pot and pours Lucy a mug. "Drink this it help you feel better." "Thanks!"

"So John what was it you needed to tell us?" Said his grandmother; John squeaks Lucy hand for strength he needed to tell his grandparents that he had Leukaemia. The same Leukaemia his brother died of when he was 9 years old. "Well grame I have just been diagnosed with Leukaemia." His grandfather got up out of his chair and walks around the room in shock, his grandmother just stares at him taking in every word he had just said. "John, what kind?" she asked blankly, "AML Grame." "Oh my god! The same as Bobby." Lucy looks up at John and his grandmother, which he was trying to calm down. Lucy hadn't realised John had the same Leukaemia which his older brother had died from and this scared her even more so then before. There was a good chance he would pull though this, but the resent information made the fear of the possibility of him not pulling though more a reality. Lucy didn't realise that time had flew pass and once the real world came back to her senses, John was kneeing down in front of her and saying her name in a concerned tone. "Lucy…Lucy…you okay?" Lucy nodded to John, "Sorry, John I was just thinking." "Well you scared me, I've been trying to get though to you for the last 5 minutes." Lucy looked around the room and she noticed they were alone." John, where's everyone gone?" John smiled that her, "My grandmother became ill, and my grandfather took her to her room and he had a prior engagement tonight." "So what are we going to do?" "Well that's a surprise, but I will tell you to wear something nice like a evening cocktail dress!" Lucy Glanced at John she wanted to know what he had planned, "John, what you got up your sleeve?" John started smiling uncontrollably. "No you have to wait!" Lucy started to sulk, as she wasn't getting her way, John laughed. "Come on Lucy, I'll drive you home so you can get ready and I can go home and say come back for you in 45 minutes." "An hour if you want me to look my best." "Okay 1 hour so we better go, but I just say goodbye to my grandmother." John kissed her on the lips and left to see his grandmother. Lucy finally had the chance to look round the room she was sitting in, she realised John's family was rich, and so was her grandmother. But she realised from how the room was interior that his family's wealth was greater than her grandmothers. Her grandmother would be smiling proudly at Lucy for forming an attachment to such a great family. She didn't really like thinking like that, she and no interest in his family and how wealthy they were, but she knew her grandmother would. John was standing in the door way watching Lucy from a distance he admired everything about her, he couldn't take his glance from her or announce he was watching her, he just wanted to stare and remember everything about Lucy, just in case something did happen to him. Lucy started to look round the room again and then at her watch wondering how long it took to say good night to your grandmother. Lucy cursed herself, 'You shouldn't think like that his just given his grandmother bad news.' She suddenly had the feeling of being watched she quickly looked towards the door, hoping it was just her imagination. She gasped for some air and put her hand on her chest, when she realised John was standing here in the doorway. "God John don't do that you scared me!" John smiled and walked over to Lucy and kissed her on the forehead, and with a little laughter he his voice he said, "Sorry I couldn't help myself but admirer you from a distance." She glanced up at him sincerely, "So tell me how long you were standing there?" He looked down that his watch and said, "Oh about 3 minutes!" "3Minutes why didn't you tell me you were back there?" He took Lucy's hands stepped back rising her arms in a way of admiration, "Like I said I couldn't help but admirer you! So you ready to go."  "Yes" she said quickly and in some excitement. "I wish you would tell me where we are going? John shook his head, "Bo it's a surprise."

Lucy had showered and finished her make up in 20 minutes after John had dropped her off at her apartment. Now she had only 10 minutes until John came and picked her up to go out. And didn't know what dress she was going to wear, she had a lot of dresses which would be appropriate for the evening. But she couldn't decide on which one, she had narrowed it down to a choice of five dresses which she all loved and looked great on her. To make it easier to choose she put the dresses in different places within the room and stood in the centre of the room, she closed her eyes and started spinning around and pointed her arm out, and stopped suddenly. She opened her eyes to see what dress was the nearest she was pointing to. She went over to the dress, which was a strapless dress, and was dark navy that touched to the floor and the back of the dress trailed behind. She would haven't to worry on what shoes she was going to wear, as you never saw them under the material of the dress. She could wear trainers and no one would ever know, but she decided on a pair of navy court shoes, comfortable and not to high to wear just in case he was going to take her dancing. She took the hanger on which the dress was on and was determined to change, when the doorbell rang. "God I knew he was going to be early." She said under her breath. Lucy picked up her dressing gown, which was draped over the chair and placed it on. She walked out of her room towards the front door. She opened the door and John was smiling with 2 dozens roses in his hands. The minute he saw what she was wearing he started laughing, "Well if you want to go like that I wouldn't mind but I'm sure where we are going would mind." Lucy glared at John, "Ha, Ha very funny, I'll be ready in a few minutes, are those for me? Or do you have someone else on the side?"  This time John was one glaring, "Of course my dear for you! So are you going to invite me in?" "Oh sorry I forgot we were talking in the hallway." Lucy stepped back into the apartment and started walking back to her room, and John closed the door. "John there's a vase on top of the freezer could you put the flowers in it for me?" She yelled from her room, John walked into the kitchen and immediately saw the vase. He placed down the roses on the side and grabbed the vase and filled it with water. He carefully took the roses out of there wrapping and started to arrange the roses in the vase. Once he finished he picked up the vase and walked over to the dining table and placed the vase in the centre. John looked up towards Lucy bedroom wondering how much longer she was going to be, but he could stop wondering because Lucy was coming out of her room when he looked up. She looked more stunning then any one he had ever seen before in his life. His mouth just dropped and Lucy giggled at his reaction. "Good" she said "The exact reaction I was expecting." John was still silent for a while before he spoke, "You…you…look stunning." "Why thank you so do you!" Just realising what he was wearing, which was Almani dark blue suit. He walked over to her and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Thank you for saying as much, but I don't think the people we be running into will be looking at me" Lucy brushed that the compliment he just gave her. "So are we going? Because I'm starting to feel hungry!" Stated Lucy, John smiled and held out his arm and Lucy graciously expected. 

A waiter  showed john and Lucy to their table and pulled out Lucy's chair from under the table and helped her into her chair. Lucy could not stop smiling since they arrived at their destination he had taken her to the Crystal Ballrooms. Which was one of the most expensive restaurants in the city, which was situation right on the bay. She looked towards John who was just staring at her, "John I can't believe it, I'm dining in the Crystal Ballrooms I've always wanted come there!" "I know you told me the after night." "Of course I did." The waiter came back to there table and said, "Sir, Madam would you like to looked at the wine list." Lucy smiled ready to say yes when John answered. "No Thank you could you just get us some semi-deau Piper Champagne please!" The waiter nodded and said "Of course sir," and went to get the bottle. "One thing why do they call it the Crystal Ballrooms when there isn't a dance floor." "Well there is, the ballroom is up one level. Maybe I'll take you there after if you wish." "I would like that I love ballroom dancing." "Really I didn't know that?" Lucy flashed her eyes towards him in a dirty look. "There's a lot about me you don't know?" They both laughed, "I'm beginning to find that out." The waiter came back to their table and placed the champagne and poured each of them a glass and placed the rest of the bottle on the table and then said, "Would the gentlemen and Lady like to order?" " Could you please give us another 10 minutes," Lucy said politely realising they haven't even looked at the menu.  "Of course Madam." They opened there menu's, "John what's good there?" John looked up from his menu and said, "You are joking asking me what's good in a 5 star restaurant." "Arh, you mean everything is good!" John nodded. "Then I don't know what I am going to eat. There is so many things I would like to try!" "Then why don't we get a selection from the menu." "You mean pig out on everything, each dish costs $30." John placed his hand on her mouth, "Lucy you don't have to worry about the price I have enough money if we wished to eat everything on the menu ten times" "Oh." When the waiter came back they had decided what they were getting, "Are you ready to order?" "Yes, could we have one of everything on the menu please." The waiter looked at John shocked of what he has just heard, "everything sir!" "Yes" the waiter, wrote down the order which didn't take him long, he wrote 'Big spender, everything on menu!' Alright sir I'll just place your order and the first dishes should be with you in about 20 minutes time." "Thank you" and john handed the waiter a 20-dollar note, and the waiter left still a little shocked.

The waiter approached the floor manger of the restaurant and showed him order he had just taken from John and Lucy. "Sir, do I place the order?" The manger look up at the waiter, "Leave it with me okay. Which table did you take the order from? I think I just need to talk to the young gentlemen first." "Table 12 sir" "Thank you." He left towards John and Lucy's table. "Good evening sir, I am he Winters the manger of the restaurant and I know what I'm about to say may sound insulting, but I have to ask." "You want to know if I have enough tender to pay for what I ordered." "Yes, Sir" "Don't worry I understand you are only making sure you get your money for your services. Do you wish to look at my bank details or the money I'll be paying the meal with tonight?" "If it's not to much trouble I would like to see the tender you will be buying the meal with." "Of course one minute." John put his hand into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out his wallet, and he took out a clip of $100 bills and $50 bills and showed them to Mr Winters. Mr Winters smiled, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience of asking you sir, and enjoy your meal." "Thank you and don't worry I do understand!" Lucy just looked at the clips of money while John started to put them away, he noticed Lucy stare, "What is it Lucy?" Lucy lifted her shoulders, "Oh it's just that I didn't think anyone got paid that much in the hospital or did you get a rise without telling me?" John started laughing, "No Luce, I haven't had a rise, I've been saving for a few years. Ever since I gave up my trust fund, I was saving it for something special, and I don't see what's more special then spending it on a night of a lifetime with you." "Oh that's is so sweet." Lucy leaned over the table and kissed him lightly. 

Half an hour later they had 15 starters, 20 main courses and a selection of salad's on their table. "Oh my god, where to start," Lucy said with a big grin on her face. Johns smiled at her and they started eating. An hour later they had tasted every dish on the menu and there was quite a lot of food left over, as they didn't want to get to full before the desert came. "What are we going to do with the rest of the food?" "We could have it sent to the ER!" Lucy suggested to John, "That's actually a good idea, can you image Jerry face when he see the delivery man from the Crystal Ballrooms walk though the doors with trays full of food!" They laughed together. "Yeah his eyes will start coming out of their sockets. Come on John lets do it no point on wasting good food. We just paid the restaurant a few hundred more for them to delivery it to the hospital, I'm sure they won't mind, anyway there's no harm in asking if we can!" John smiled and raised his arm to catch the attention of Mr Winters. "Yes, Dr Carter can I help?" "Yes, its really just a request, would there be a possibility if we can send the remainder of the food to the country general ER Department. We would of course paid you for the inconvenience?" "Of course Dr Carter and its no Inconvenience would you like to write something down on a card to go with the food." John and Lucy turned and looked at each other then back to Mr Winters and they both answered at the same time. "Yes Thank you!" "Okay Dr Carter, Miss Knight, I will organise the drop off of the food then bring you two the card to write." Mr Winters move towards the kitchen and emerged with 4 large fancy food boxes with the Crystal Ballrooms restaurant printed on the side in gold letting. And out of the kitchen followed a waiter with a tray fall of deserts heading towards them. Mr winter stopped the waiter and talked to him. Lucy and John couldn't hear what they were saying, but the waiter kept on nodding. The waiter finally got to their table and placed the deserts tray on a table to the side of them and then took the food, which was on the table off onto a trolley nearby. "Mr winters told me to tell you the food will be sent in hour and a half and he be over in a minute with the card." "Thank you," they both said at the same time, then they looked at each other and started laughing again, "We are getting very good at saying things at the same time Luce." "Yes we are! Oh I'm glad I didn't stuff myself with the main courses as these deserts look define." John nodded as he took a bit of some chocolate mouse. "God I never tasted a chocolate mouse taste so heavenly before…" John had a dirty thought as he was eating the heavenly desert. "You know what would make this taste more heavenly with?" "What?" Lucy said not looking up from the desert she was eating. "You!" Lucy looked up in a confused state, "Me, what ever could you mean?" John just looked at Lucy who obviously didn't get the sexual hint in the conversion. John was still staring hoping she would get what he meant, and then she clicked on of what he meant. "John Carter heaven forbid naughty boy!" He started laughing, "You honestly didn't know what I meant did you. Just like the carrot incident." Lucy throws her napkin at him he ever forgot about that and hated him then he brought it up. "It's not my thought I have a sweet and innocent mind!" John laughed again and leaned in towards Lucy and so did she so she could hear what he was saying. "You a sweet and innocent mind, now that's laughable it wasn't me who insisted to have whipped cream and strawberry's when we had sex!" Her mouth fell open and she hit him on the arm, "Ouch" "Like that really hurt!" Mr Winters came to their table, "Dr Carter, Miss Knight the card for you to sign." "Thank you." John took his fountain pen out of his jacket and signed the card as follows,

Crystal Ballrooms

We're thinking of you all!!

So Enjoy!!

Love from John Carter and Lucy Knight

Crystal ballrooms, The pier. Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois.

He handed the card back to Mr Winters, "Oh can you tell the delivery person to take note how they reacted as we would love to know!" "Of course Dr Carter, enjoy the rest of your meal." "Thank you!"

Back at the ER,

"Your yoking I miss them kissing in front of everyone oh man!" Dave said only after hearing what the nurses were saying about Carter and Lucy. Dave looked towards the trauma doors and a delivery boy was coming though, "Someone order take out?" Dave said a little confused as it was from the Crystal Ballrooms. Everyone looked up, and was as confused. Jerry went over to the delivery boy, "sorry, mate I think you got the wrong place we didn't order anything!" "I know, with compliments." And the boy handed Jerry the card John had written. Jerry took the card out of the envelope it was in and read it out a loud. "We're thinking of you!! So Enjoy!! Love John Carter and Lucy Knight." "Oh my god you are joking?" randy shouted, as loud as she could. Then all the sudden 2 other people came out of the crystal Ballrooms van with 2 food boxes each in their hands. Everyone was so shocked you could hear a pin fall and hit the floor. "God how much did they spend," someone said in the distance. 

The delivery boy came back to the Ballrooms and told Mr Winters their reactions in the ER. "Dr Carter, Miss Knight I have been told to tell you, 'Thanks Carter obviously you have been holding out on us, from the ER.'" John and Lucy laughed, "I told you they would think you get more money then them." "So you did, did the delivery person tell you how they reacted." "Yes shocked he said he could tell as everyone went silent." "Thank you!" and Mr Winters left. "God, the ER silent well that's something I would like to of seen." "Yeah, John can we go dancing now." "Sure" John got up and walked over to Lucy, and offered her his hand, "Miss knight shall we go!" "Thank you Dr Carter yes we shall."

John and Lucy were dancing their tails off 5 dances in a row and Lucy knew how to dance to all of them, which surprised John. "How you learn to ballroom dance Lucy your great?" "Your not so bad yourself, my grandmother told me I had to learn. I didn't like the idea at first, but I do love it she made me learn. I just love dancing." Music started again and Lucy absolutely loved this dance, "This is my favourite dance come on." John stopped Lucy before she could get to the dance floor. "Lucy, sorry but could we sit this one out I'm not feeling well." "Of course," she said becoming very concerned for John. "Lets sit down then." "No how about going out onto the deck. I think I need some fresh air." "Sounds great."

Lucy leaned against the docks fence, "The bay looks so beautiful tonight, and full moon shinning on the water." John wasn't looking at what Lucy was, but at her. "You look beautiful." Lucy turned to John, "Thank you." They stared at each other for a while, and John then leaned into Lucy and kissed her. "I love you Lucy" "And I Love you John." Lucy turned round and glanced at the bay again. John put his arms round Lucy, and she leaned into his embrace; both looking out at the beautiful nigh what had been wonderful from the start.

To Be Continued……….


	5. Trials of Life part one

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters.**

**Trials of Life part one, this is a Carter and Lucy Story. **

**Following from The Night of My Life.**

**Written By Louise Mills. **

**Please visit my web site at www.erfanfiction.hacked2death.com **

**John woke up early to the sight of Lucy lying next to him. The night before was the best night of his life mostly Lucy was there to spend it with him. But today he would have to go into the hospital and start treatment for his Leukaemia and he was dreading every moment. He remember when he was younger always going to the hospital were his brother was admitted for having Leukaemia. And the doctors and nurses even his parents kept telling him his brother was getting better with every visit. But deep down he knew they were lying to him and they were hiding something from him because he was so young. And they thought he wouldn't understand what was happening. But he had from the local library got a lot of books on Leukaemia so he could understand, which he kept under his bed and read at nights. Because it always upset his parents when anything mention on TV or within the family about Leukaemia. Reading the books and seeing how much pain his brother was in was one of the main reasons he wanted to become a doctor. He didn't want anyone to suffer like his brother and his family had, so he decided to become a doctor. What scared John the most was that they kept saying his brother was getting better but in the end he died from the leukaemia, and he was scared the same thing would happen to him. And the thought of him putting his family though this again and especially Lucy sicken him. He just wanted it to go away and believe it was happening to someone else and not him. He knew it wasn't right to wish it was happening to anyone else but that was the way he felt. And he knew from the reading when he was younger and being a doctor that this was common thinking with any patient been diagnosed with any kind of cancer its called denial. He got out of bed and walk to the bathroom he needed a shower it always seem to calm him down water falling all over his body. He climbed in and turned the water on and just stood there while the water washed over him. **

**Lucy woke up and noticed John wasn't lying next to her but she could hear the shower going. She looked over at her clock on her side table and it showed her it was 5.45am and said, "Oh god." She slowly got out of her bed, and got on her dressing gown. She walked to the door of the shower and gently knocked on the door, "John you okay in there?" "Yeah, be out in a minute." John's voice came from behind the door. Lucy went to the kitchen and flicked the switch on the kettle, then walked over to the table and sat down. She placed her arms on the table and lowered her head to rest on her arms. She heard the water stop running and a minute later John walked out of her bedroom, "Hey, if you were tried you should of went back to sleep!" Lucy raised her head quickly and looked at John though sleepy eyes. "No its okay I wouldn't of been able to get back to sleep anyway. You want coffee?" "That's sound nice." Lucy started to get up, but John stopped her, "Lucy you just sit down I'll get the coffee." And he walked over to the kitchen. John came back with two mugs of coffee and two plates of toast and eggs, and set them down on the table. "I thought you couldn't cook?" John laughed, "I can't eggs and toast is the only thing I can manage in the kitchen." "I see." They finished breakfast and got ready to go to the hospital; it was 6.30am when they left the apartment. John had explained to Lucy he just wanted to get there, before he got cold feet about the treatment. Lucy could tell he was scared and surprising she wasn't, she had been the day before. She thought it was best to think his going to be okay and get though this and it seemed to be working.**

**They arrived promptly at the hospital at 6.50am; they decided they would go to the ER first to get a cup of coffee. Dr Greene was at the reception desk when they arrived, "Good morning John, Lucy." "Good morning Dr Greene" answered Lucy, John didn't say anything as he didn't think it was a good morning. Lucy walked up to Dr Greene while John went to the lounge, he wasn't in the mood to greet anyone, and was wondering why he had decided to come to the ER first.  "This there anything wrong with him?" Dr Greene asked Lucy. "No, I just think the realisation of the situation is becoming more clear to him. And his in denial." "How you come to that conclusion he seems calm." "Yeah a little too calm, but he was up really early and he told me that it seemed like a dream and that it was happening to someone else." "You do know that is common with people been diagnosed with cancer." "I know, I just what it to go away!" Dr Greene looked closely at Lucy, usually it was easy to tell how Lucy was feeling by looking at her, but today it was difficult to tell. "You seem better today?" "Yeah, I'm over the initial shock of it, but I think I'm in a little denial as well." Dr Greene nodded and said, "Yeah I think we all are in a bit of denial Lucy." Lucy smiled sincerely at Dr Greene, "I'll better check on John!" Then she left towards the lounge. **

**Lucy walked into the lounge and sat down opposite John on a chair by the table. "Sorry for leaving you so long." "It's okay I needed some time alone to think anyway." "I know I could tell." John smiled at Lucy, she understood him more then anyone had ever before, it was like she could read his mind. "You ready to go and get this done." John placed his hands on the edge of the table, like it would give him the strength to get him though this, "Yes, the earlier we get there the quicker I can get better." "Now that's a better attitude to have, well better then what you were thinking this morning." John smiled weakly in Lucy's direction like he needed her to force him out of his chair. "Come on John, you can't stay here all day!" "Okay I'm coming." And he slowly rose out of his chair and left the lounge and walked towards the oncology department. **

**"Hello you must be John Carter I'm Rachel I'll be one of the nurses helping you with your treatment I take you to your room in a minute I just have to finished something." "That's okay Rachel this is Lucy Knight and she well be there quite a lot." "Nice to meet you, Lucy." "You too!" "Rachel do you know what treatment I'll be receiving." "One minute and I check for you." Rachel moved some papers until she got to Johns chart; she opened the file and scanned it for a while. "Here you go, the doctor has you down for 10 days of IV chemotherapy. Which will be Daunomycin and we will need to fix you with a catheter, which is a tube we insert into the large vein near the heart, which will then be hooked up to a IV." "Sorry if I sound rube but I know what a Catheter is, does it say what surgeons will be putting in the catheter." "Bo but I'm sure I can check." John picked up the phone. "Please can I check?" Rachel looked at John a little confused, John and Lucy chuckled, and "Obviously you don't know Johns a doctor, who works at the hospital and he knows a lot of the surgeons who work there. He probably only wants to check his got the best." Then Lucy whispers to Rachel, "And if he doesn't you can ensure he gets the best, and no intern or medical student assisting." Rachel laughed. "No I didn't know, sorry doctor Carter." "Please John, I'm not a doctor right now I'm a patient, so can I phone?" "Of course!" John picked up the phone and dialled the number for the OR. **

**"OR," "Hi Shirley its Carter," "Oh hi Dr Carter, wait a minute let me guess why you calling. Let me see, you ant to know who's doing your surgery." John laughed, "Yeah how you know?" "Because it's you and you always only want the best. Well anyway first of all we were only notified yesterday that we had a catheter operation, but no name. So we assigned Dale for the operation." John looked mortified, "What?" "Hey let me finish, when Dr Benton and Dr Corday realised it was you and know you would not want Dale doing the operation and would want the best surgeons they reassigned you." "So who?" "Can't you guess?" "Shirley!!" "Okay Benton and Corday, they wouldn't let anyone else touch one of their close friends." John finally smiled with relief. "Thanks Shirley."  "Your welcome oh and Carter get well soon we will all miss you." "But I hardly go up into the OR now days." "So we will still miss you! You treated as nurses up here better then any of the residents here do, so we always glad to see you when you do come up." "Thanks Shirley it means a lot to me!" "That's okay so see you soon." "Yeah bye." **

**Lucy was giggling when he came off the phone. "Okay what's so funny Miss Knight?" She giggled more, "sorry John watching you talk to Shirley and the way you reacted at first I could tell who they assigned you to, and your face was priceless!" She had now stopped giggling, but had a big smile on her face. "Okay, Doctor smarty pants who was I first assigned to?" "Mr Dale Edison, I know you hate him and it showed when you were on the phone." "Why do you call him Mr, Miss Knight his a doctor?" "Hey stop throwing your angry authority voice around, I'm no longer your med student." Rachel shrieked they were med student and teacher, but she could tell by the way they had been acting for the last few minutes it went more then a professional relationship. John and Lucy turned to Rachel who looked shocked, by the information she had just heard. They couldn't help but laugh. "Rachel don't worry his no longer my teacher as I have been reassigned a new teacher because we had feelings for each other."   Rachel was still a little shocked, "Right okay." And Rachel went back to her work, John turned back to Lucy. "You were saying Luce." "Now that's better the way you supposed to address your girlfriend, you wanted to know why I call him Mr Edison. Well because his a jerk." She raised her voice, "I hate him, and to my standards he doesn't make a good doctor and doesn't deserve the title." "Glad I'm not the only one who thinks that!" They stared at each other for a while; the conversion had taken their minds totally off why they were standing in the oncology department. And it started to creep back into their minds. Lucy had an unbearable urge to hug John and never let go, and she acted on the urge. Why they were hugging each other they had the same thoughts going though their minds. 'Why this is happening? Why that is time of all times? Just when we realised we loved each other?? Why??' Lucy started to weep it was the first time today she just couldn't keep it in any longer. John gently lifted her head and said, "Lucy!" That's all he needed to say, as when they looked into each other's eyes they realised what the other was feeling and thinking. **

**Rachel reluctantly interrupter as it wasn't every day you saw this much affection between two people in the oncology department. "John let me show you to your room as one of the surgeons will be coming to take you up to the OR soon. And I thought maybe you would like to unpack first." John torn his glance from Lucy towards Rachel and nodded to her. Lucy held tighter to John and bury her head into his chest. Rachel started to walk down the corridor and John put his hands round the back of his body, and took Lucy's hands and slowly took her grip off his body. Still holding one of her hands they walked in the direction Rachel was going. **

**Dr Corday was looking around the OR for Dr Benton he was supposed to be picking up John for his surgery, but he was nowhere in sight. She went to the desk within the OR, the nurses always knew where the doctors were, and it seemed to be the same all over the hospital. "Shirley you know where Benton is?" "Yeah he was called into an emergency operation." "Your joking his suppose to be getting John now!" "Oh yeah he said could you, the surgery he was called in for won't take long he should be out in the next ten minutes, but unfortunately won't be able to get Carter." "Thanks!" and she left to go and get John. **

**John had been given a private room, which was rare to be given as most cancer patients are given shared rooms. As this usually helps the patient get though their treatment knowing that it's not only then going though what they were.  Dr Weatherspoon thought it would be better as some patients who were admitted to the oncology department didn't like the fact doctors also got cancer. Of course patients knew doctors got sick but they always wanted to believe doctors were superhuman and would never get cancer. But John was glad he got a private room, that way he could be left alone, once his family and friends visit were over. He had just finished unpacking when Dr Corday walked into the room. "Hello John." "Elizabeth, I thought Benton would of come down!" "He was suppose to but he was called into emergency surgery. Don't worry thou he probably be finishing right now and getting ready to operate on you." John smiled, "Good I would hate it if he couldn't get out, and I ended up with Dale after all." "Believe me he be the last person I ask to assist and I mean the last. I would further ask Romano then him, and that's saying something as you know how much I hate Romano." John nodded sincerely, not many people did like him. Elizabeth looked around the room, which was quite a bright room and had an airy feel to it. She noticed Lucy was on a chair by a window, which she was starring out of, Lucy looked absolutely tremble, she had been crying or still was Elizabeth couldn't really tell from where she stood. "You have a nice room." John nodded, "Yeah shame not all the rooms in the hospital aren't like this it would make a lot of people we admit feel better." "Yes, I would have to agree." She looked back at Lucy who was now sitting forwards and looking both at her and John. "Morning Elizabeth." "Morning Lucy, and how are you feeling?"  Lucy considered Elizabeth's question before answering, "I suppose a little worst for wear!" "Aren't we all." Elizabeth said in a very crisp British accent "Lucy would you like to scrub into the operation?" Lucy's face immediately lit up. "I would love to." "Good you can comfort John as he be only under a local anaesthetic come on you two we better go!" John looked at Elizabeth, and Lucy walked up to him took his hand and squeezed it tightly. Elizabeth admired John and Lucy and noted the way they looked together. And from her point of view it seemed right, better then teacher and student who were continually fighting, and then they realised they loved each other, always meant to be together. **

**The surgery had gone well and Elizabeth was right about Dr Benton he was ready when they got up to the OR, and had no objection about Lucy being able to scrub in. John now lay in his bed sleeping off the effect of the local anaesthetic. In about an hour he would be given his first IV of chemotherapy, which would last for 10 days. Then he would have his blood taken and another bone marrow biopsy. It was very rare for people to be cured after one lot of chemotherapy but it wasn't unheard of, most people had to have between 3-5 sessions of chemotherapy. And he hoped most in the world he would only need one session, but deep down he knew he would have quite a few sessions. **

**Lucy sat on the chair next to him when he awoke, "Hey" He said in a dry voice, "Hey how are you feeling?" "Fine, could you get me some water please?" "Sure!" She walked over to the table, which had the water on and poured him a cup of water. "Here you go." She handed him the cup. "Thanks Luce." A nurse walked in with an IV bag. "Hello John I'm Kelly I be admonishing your IV and I'm one of the nurses on the night shift tonight so if you need anything just shout." "Okay." Kelly looked over at Lucy and said, "Could you please leave Miss why I hook up his IV." Lucy gave Kelly a confused stare. "No, she can stay!" John said in his authority voice and Kelly noted the tone and retorted back his statement. "But Sir I insist most friends and family get upset then they see the catheter, which then upsets the patient I really do insist." He raised his voice a little higher; as it was obvious she had no intension of letting Lucy stay. "I say again she can stay! Believe me when I say this, she is a med student in the ER and has seen worst things then a IV being inserted into a catheter, as she does it herself every day!" Kelly had been told that John was a doctor in the ER but she never of thought a medical student would accompany him to the hospital. 'A family member or his girlfriend, but never one of the medical students that worked with him in the ER.' Then it hit her medical student sitting in the room was one of the people she thought before she was his girlfriend. Kelly reluctantly give in to John, but she made it clear to him she wasn't happy about the situation. "Of course but I warned you." Once Kelly inserted the IV she turned on the flow, then left the room in a mood. Kelly had noticed when she was inserting the IV in Lucy wasn't getting queasy or upset, Lucy was watching her every move making sure she was putting the IV into the catheter right. And Kelly never likes it when she was being watched in a critical eye. **

**"So do you think she could make it more obvious that she was uncomfortable with me being here?" "Probably, but I don't think it was because they usually don't have people stay in the room while they put in the IV. But that you were standing right next to her and looking over her shoulder to make sure she did it right." "I was not!" "Lucy!" "Okay maybe a little." "A little! God that's an understatement if you were any closer you be doing the IV yourself. I'm sure I saw in you face 'No, No, that's not how you do it, for God Sake come on get out of the way I'll do it." "I nearly did jump in and take over, she just couldn't get the clamp on." "IV's are tricky things and you should know that!" "Yes IV into a vein is, but not when your putting one into a catheter. What's so difficult about putting an IV tube into the end of a catheter tube and then clamping the two tubes together!" "Have to agree, but maybe she was feeling nervous with you looking!" "Maybe next time you get an IV I'll stand outside and if she still doesn't get it within 2 minutes I'll be changing your nurse." John laughed, "Have any ideas?" "Yes I do as a matter of fact, Carol Haleh or even…" "You!" "Yes!" "Oh Lucy I love you." "I love you too." "I know!" "Maybe I should let you get some rest and plus I need to eat!" "That's a good idea, and tell them in the ER I'm seem fine, well right now anyway!" "Sure I will." She kissed him goodbye before leaving.**

**Lucy went down to the ER after she had eaten, they wanted to know how John was nearly all the time. But Lucy had told them she would come down when she could on her days off. Lucy walked up towards the reception desk and sat down on one of the stools and placed her arms on the desk and signed heavily. "Rough day Lucy?" She looked up to the person who asked her the question, "No just long Dr Greene." "So how's John doing?" "He seems okay right now, but I'm sure that won't last long." Dr Greene nodded with sympathy, "I don't like the nurse they have assigned to John!" "Oh and why is that?" "It took her 10 minutes to clamp an IV into a catheter." Dr Greene laughed. "And this is coming from the person who let everyone believe she could put an IV in when she couldn't for 4 weeks!" "That's what John said, but that's different what's so hard of putting two pieces of tube together." Dr Greene could tell by the way Lucy was talking the stress of the situation was getting to her. "So what treatment do they have him on?" "Daunomycin." "I know this is the wrong time to ask, but we do really need to talk about your shifts!" Lucy looked up at Dr Greene; "It's okay I'm fine with talking about my shifts." "Well I'm on a late shift tomorrow, is that okay with you?" "Yes!" "Do you want to do a full shift?" "Yes anything to get my mind off of this situation." Mark shuffled though some papers and handed Lucy a copy of his shifts which would become her new schedule." "Thanks Dr Greene." "No problem, why don't you go back upstairs John's probably getting worried, knowing him!" Lucy smiled to Dr Greene and got off the stool and walked off. Haleh approached Dr Greene, "What did Lucy say?" "She said John's on Daunomycin, and complained about his nurse, but that's only probably because she feels like she should be doing everything for John."  **

**When Lucy returned to John's room he was sitting up in bed reading what like a like file. "Hey how are you feeling?" John looked up from his book and smiled, "A little ill, but the anti-emetics for the nausea are working like a treat!" "That's god to hear, so reading anything interesting?" "If interesting you mean my notes on some of my patient last week, then yes." "Your working!" "This that a problem." "No, its just I wouldn't want to depress myself even more by working." John smiled and then the smiled faded away from his face, "Urgh!" he said as he held his hand over his stomach. "John come on come here and I help you to the bathroom!" John gratefully took Lucy arm and leaned on her for support when they walked over to the bathroom. John sunk down onto his knees then placed his hands on the rim of the toilet and was sick. Lucy sat down on the floor next to him and gently started to rub his back and saying soothing words. John was ill for 15 minutes and was feeling awful then they walked back into the room. Lucy helped him back into bed, and went to the over side of the room to get the water. "Here John drink this, it make you feel better. I think you're a little dehydrated." John took the glass from her hands and slowly sipped. Lucy placed the jug of water down on the table next to him, so he could get to it then he needed more water. "Thank you honey." He said with a husky voice, which was sore from the vomiting. "John try and finished the whole of the jug?" John nodded to Lucy agreeing with her.  Once John had finished drinking two glasses of water he lay back in bed and closed his eyes. Lucy stayed with John for a few hours as he slept; she kept herself assumed by reading the magazines and the work John was reading earlier. Once she finished reading the his patient notes she looked at her watch and it showed her it was 9pm. Lucy had to go home, but before leaving she wrote him a note which had the time she left and that she loved him. **

**End of part one…Part two coming soon…**

**Please send me feed back on erfanfiction@hotmail.com**


	6. Trials of Life part two

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters Louise Mills Louise Mills 7 176 2001-08-19T22:58:00Z 2001-08-20T20:55:00Z 3 1902 10847 mills 90 21 13320 9.2720 4.5 pt 2 2 

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters.**

**Trials of Life part two; this is a Carter and Lucy Story. **

**Following from Trials of life part one.**

**Written By Louise Mills. **

Author notes: This fiction takes place one week after the last one. John has been on his treatment for a week, and Lucy has gone back to work, but she isn't sleeping well.

Lucy slowly approached the admin desk and signed on the computer. She glanced up at the broad to see how many patients there were. She noticed there was only a hand full of patients and nearly all of them were either ready to be transferred or discharged. Randy was sitting behind the desk with her noise stick in her book. Lucy walked up to her and Randy was still reading, it was oblivious Randy didn't know Lucy was standing right in front of her. "Hey Randy, seen Dr Greene?" Lucy asked, and Randy jumped. "Jesus Christ Lucy, where did you come from?" Lucy laughed. "Randy I've been there for quite some time, and I wasn't quiet. So what are you reading? Obviously it must be a good book for you not to notice what's going on around you!"  "Yeah, it's a dirty novel and its really good because it sends your imagination wild." "I'm sure it does, so do you know where Dr Greene is?" Randy shook her head glanced back down to her book. "Have you tried the lounge ject?" "No" "Probably be the best place to start last time we got someone come in was about an hour ago!" "Thanks." Randy placed her hand in the air s a means to say 'your welcome'.

Lucy opened the lounge door to the sight of Mark and Elizabeth kissing and hugging each other. "Oh I'm sorry" "Oh don't mind us Lucy, I have some great news!" Lucy turned to face Elizabeth entrée by what Elizabeth had to say. "Yes, me and Mark got engaged" Lucy started to smile uncontrollably for Mark and Elizabeth. "Oh my god, that's wonderful news! Congratulations to you both." "Thanks Lucy." Elizabeth replied when Elizabeth's pager started beeping, she looked down at her pager and started to get angry. "Oh for god sake, that man really knows how to spoil my day! Sorry you two we have to continue this discussion later, bullet head beckons." Mark and Lucy laughed at the remark that described Dr Romano. Mark stared at Lucy while she placed her bag in her locker ad got out her white coat. " Lucy have you been sleeping?" Lucy turned around and just stared straight into his eyes. "Not that well! But I have been getting some sleep." "Still having bad dreams?" "Yes I just want them to stop." "Have you spoken to John about them?" Lucy shook her head. "Why not?" "I don't want him to worry about me, and he will if I tell him. He should just concentrate on getting himself well, and not worry about me!" He nodded to her, she was right he did need to concentrate on getting better and Lucy telling him she wasn't sleeping well would take his concentration away from that goal. "Lucy you need to talk to someone professional about not sleeping well, we know its mostly about John and granted not sleeping is apart of the stress your going though, but soon you will make yourself ill and that won't help you or John. Just think about it and in the meantime I can write you a prescription for some sleeping tablets. But it's only a short-term solution. Now get some coffee down you, then meet me at the desk and we see what suitable cases there is for you!" "Thanks Mark you're a great friend." "It's okay see you in a minute." Lucy poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. Lucy thought about what Mark had said and she knew he was right, but it would take away the precious time she spent with John. But she needed to help herself to be as well as she could because John needed her and she would be no help if she were ill. Lucy picked up the phone in the lounge and dialled psychology, "Yes Hello I would like to make an appointment with Dr Lansley please." "Of course, how soon would you like the appointment?" "As soon as possible please!" "Okay how about this afternoon at 2pm." "That would be great!" "And your name miss?" "Lucy knight!" "Okay Miss Knight see you at 2pm." "Thank you." Lucy requested Mark to give her an extended lunch break, so she could have time to see John and her appointment. 

Mark had agreed with Lucy that she could have an extended lunch and she was just on her way to see John. She was supposed to see him earlier just before her shift started, but she overslept. She walked out of the lift onto the oncology department and was immediately greeted by Rachel. "Hello Lucy missed you this morning." "I'm sorry, I overslept and was a little late for my shift. I was going to phone up and tell you I couldn't make it until lunch. But you now how the ER can be." Rachel nodded her head, "Lucy you don't need to explain, but he did miss you." "Is he mad with me?" Rachel smiled, "I don't think John could ever be mad with you. But I think he knows there's something wrong, is there something wrong?" Lucy was silent for a while. "I can't sleep I'm having really bad dreams, which are weird as well." "Well he can tell, maybe you should tell him?" "But wouldn't that make him not concentrate on him?" Rachel stopped the work she was doing and stared straight at Lucy. "Lucy John's already not concentrating as much as he should because his worried about you. But if you talk to him and tell him what you are doing to improve your heath, he will be better. So what are you doing?" "I'm going to talk to someone later." Lucy smiled and Rachel smiled back. "Good, now go and see the love of your life before he thinks you totally forgotten about him." "Thanks for listening Rachel." "It's all part of the job, but it's always a pleasure for you and John." 

Lucy continued to walk down the corridor until she was standing outside his door staring at him playing a game on the play station with another patient who was about 8 years old. "Oh you win again, Josh." "Your letting me win." "Why would you say that?" "Because you are!" John stated to laughed and turned towards the door noticing Lucy was standing there. John stopped laughing, but he kept smiling. "Hello stranger." John said to Lucy, "this is Josh, his new to the ward, and is a great player on the play station." Lucy smiled "I know I saw, nice to meet you Josh." John just stared straight into her eyes, not wanting to never stop looking into those wonderful blue eyes, which sparkled with life. Lucy looked up at john as well and also stared into his eyes. Josh who was standing in between them looked first at John, then at Lucy and back again to John. Josh knew then he should leave, like all the sudden he wasn't wanted. "Well I see you again later John have fun." "Yeah thanks for the game." He said while still looking at Lucy. Lucy had just got used to the way he looked now, and was beginning to like the way he had cut his hair. John had cut his hair to a number two length, it was weird at first being so short. But it would help when his hair started to fall out because it would be less noticeable. She then noticed he had a few bruises on his arms but that was a common side effect to the chemotherapy and symptoms to the Leukaemia. Because Leukaemia increase the production of immature white blood cells, and reduces the production of the red bloods cells and platelets. And platelets help colt the blood and the body can't produce enough platelets to stop bruises forming. His blood was continuously tested in case the red blood count and platelets were low and needed a transfusion. 'Thank god he hadn't needed any ject' Lucy thought. 

Lucy came all the way into the room and sat on the bed, "Luce, there's something wrong, isn't there?" When she didn't answer and moved her head down he knew there was. John kneed down in front of her and took his hands in hers. "Well by the way we were looking at each other the other minute, I know it's not about us! So there must be something wrong with you?" Lucy lifted her head and looked into his eyes. "It's nothing serious, its just could make myself every ill." John nodded realising what she was telling him. "Your not sleeping probably I had the same problem when Bobbie was in hospital." "Well yes but I do sleep its just sometimes I get these disturbing dreams, that's when I can't sleep." "Tell me about them? Please Luce if you don't, I won't stop worrying." "Well okay but only if you promise not to worry anymore, and concentrate on yourself to get better." "Of course I will!" "Well I'm walking down the oncology corridor, which seems to be miles long. I can't hear anything except a constant beat of a heart monitor. The heartbeat becomes rapid ad distressed. I get to the front desk of the oncology department and the nurses and doctors don't seem to be bother about one of their patients are in distress. The heartbeat becomes louder and louder I walk towards the room where the sounds coming from. Realising its your room I start running but I'm not getting any nearer, all the sudden the heartbeat goes flat line. And no one moves towards the room to help, I start screaming but no one hears me its like I'm not even there, I finally get to your room and your not even there. The room starts to spin and spin around, the room blends together and then nothing just white light. Its absolutely quite eerie, then voices so many voices start screaming in pain pleading for help. I cover my ears with my hands, but still hear them screaming. I start pleading them to stop, but instead they get louder and louder. That's when I wake up." Lucy looks over at John, and John moves and sits on the bed next to her and puts his arm round her and she puts her head on his shoulder. "Thanks for listening, now you concentrate on getting better." "Of course I will, so are you going to talk to someone? It might help!" "Yes, I'm going there at two after spending time with you!" "Good, because I worry about you, if you don't." Lucy nudged Johns arm and smiled, "Hey, I thought we had a deal, that you wouldn't worry about me and you concentrate on yourself." John smiled and grabbed Lucy by the waist and pulled her down onto his lap, then stared straight into her eyes. "Sorry I lied, I can't help myself you're the most important person in my life. But I will promise I concentrate more on getting better only if I can worry about you a little?" "Okay" John leaned down and kissed Lucy, John tapped Lucy and said, "Well you better get upstairs to your appointment before you miss it." He pointed to the clock on the wall to indicate it was approaching 2pm.  

Lucy closed Dr Lansley's door behind her after the session she had with him, and she did feel better. Dr Lansley suggested she come and talk to him once a week, realising how difficult john being ill was for her. She agreed to come back, she was glad for once someone was listening to her problems, instead of her being the one people came to talk about their problems. Lucy made her way back down to the ER and found Dr Greene to get back to work. "So how it go, Lucy?" Dr Greene asked her once they had finished with their last patient. "Great I forgot how good it was to talk to someone, I think Dr Lansley really helped. I'll be going back once a week to talk." "That's great so you going to try and get some sleep tonight?" "Yes I will try." "Good and just in case I still give some sleeping tablets, but only use them if you need them." "Thanks." Dr Greene got out his prescription pad and started to write her a script of 7 Tazamepam. "Here Lucy." He handed her the prescription, "And why don't you go up to John and then go home, it's not that busy we can handle the rest of your shift without you!" "Thanks Mark." 

Lucy walked up to the oncology department desk, "Hi Rachel, is John awake?" "No his sleeping!" "Can you give him a message for me when he wakes up." "Sure I can." Lucy picked up some paper and started to write John a note, Lucy handed the note to Rachel. "Thanks Rachel." "No problem, Lucy what ever you told John earlier it seems to be working, his improved a little since you left." "I only told him what was wrong, and not to worry and concentrate on himself." "Well thanks, I care about my patients health. And Johns one of the least hostile patients up here." "Hostile? Why would the patients be hostile your only trying to help." "Yeah but that's just it some of them don't want help, because they can't believe what happening to them. And others are scared and don't want to feel weak so they take it out on anyone who comes their way. So John being a doctor helps I suppose because he knows what happening to him." "And he witness the effects of Leukaemia first hand when he was 8, his brother died of the same leukaemia he has." Rachel looked towards Lucy. "I didn't know that." Lucy yawned. "Well I'm going home to bed, remember to give that note to John the minute he wakes up." "Of course goodnight Lucy." "Yeah goodnight." Lucy went home, and the minute her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.

Next part called the Dreaded day Coming soon….


	7. Dreaded Day

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters Louise Mills Louise Mills 1 28 2001-08-20T22:09:00Z 2001-08-20T22:37:00Z 1 mills 1 1 9.2720 4.5 pt 2 2 

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters.**

**Dreaded Day; this is a Carter and Lucy Story. **

**Following from Trials of life part two.**

**Written By Louise Mills.**

**Please visit my web site at http://www.angelfire.com/tv2/erfiction **

**Authors notes: This is set 2 months since John's treatment started.**

John is lying on his bed within the oncology department; he hadn't been able to get out of bed for two days. And Lucy was on the chair beside him, she had been by his side from 10 days before when the last session started. The chemotherapy treatment he had been given had affected John considerably; his body was swollen from the retainment of fluid. And had bruises all over making him look black and blue, but of course Lucy hadn't really noticed the appearance John was in all she knew is she loved him. The only thing she did notice was how much weight he had lost, John had lost 2 stone over the pass two months. Today was the last day of the current session of treatment and she was glad she didn't like seeing John in pain. John had finally managed to walk to the bathroom, meaning his was getting stronger and she hoped that was a good sign.

Rachel one of the nurses walked into John's room and approached Lucy. "Lucy Dr Morningside needs to speck to you and John. He be expecting you both in about an hour, so you better get John ready?" Lucy smiled and thanked Rachel.

Doctor Morningside's Office,

"John, Lucy thanks for coming I know you two don't like me to beat round the bush, so I get right to the point. The treatment your on Daunomycin before seemed to be working but since then after another two sessions of that treatment. We now know Daunomycin is not working for you." Silence gripped the room, John and Lucy both thought he was getting better, and thought being called to Dr Morningside was a confirmation of that. They never thought that John would be told his treatment wasn't working. "So what happens now?" John asked. "Well there's a new trial of chemotherapy I like to put you on? And then I mean new I mean new, it only came out this week to this hospital." "So what kind of results does it have?" Lucy question Morningside, "Quite good results, before its mostly been used in children and people under 19, but over the last year a trial in LA has been using a mixture of that treatment and been used on adults and the results are very positive." "So what's it called?" "ARA-C-Daunomycin, it's only used on people who fail to reach remission with plain Daunomycin. But the combination with ARA-C works where Daunomycin failed. I really do insist on you to consider it." Once again silence gripped the room, and Lucy held John's hand for support, even thou she knew John would be the one who needed support from her. She couldn't help feeling she was the victim of Leukaemia. John looked at Lucy he knew how she felt; he had once been sitting where she was, watching someone you loved die. He wanted to tell her he was going to be okay, but he couldn't because now he wasn't so sure he was going to be okay. "So if I chose this treatment how long would I have to wait before it started?" "For a while, about 10 days." "So I have some time to think about it?" "Yes and No; There is only a few number of places within the country, but I can reserve a place for a maximum of 2 days, if that will help." "It would thank you doctor, well I have a lot to think about and to discuss with family and friends. I better get back to my room." Lucy stood up and grabbed the handles on John's wheelchair and was about to wheel him out of the office when Dr Morningside spoke, "John I am sorry I didn't have good news." And John simply said, "I know," Then signalled for Lucy to leave. 

Next Part coming soon…..


	8. Decison Time

**"Decision Time" This is a Carter and Lucy Story. **

**Following from "Dreaded Day" **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters.**

**Written By Louise Mills.**

**Summary: Carter talks to his family and Lucy about what course he should next take.**

**Please visit my web site at http://www.angelfire.com/tv2/erfiction **

**Authors notes: This is set two months since John's treatment started**

The taxi pulled up outside the Carter's mansion where John decided would be the best place to stay. As the family had a lot of hired help that would handle his every wish.

Lucy opened the taxi door and stepped out, she turned to face John and offer her hand to help him out. John slowly stepped out and stood weakly on his feet, and watched as his grandmother came out of the mansion with a wheelchair in hand. Which he was grateful for as he didn't think he could walk the few yards to the front door. 

His grandmother wheeled the chair to him and let Lucy take over and help John into the chair as she went to pay for the taxi.

Once the taxi pulled away and John was securely sitting in the wheelchair, they brought John into the mansion.

          "John would you like to go to your room?" His grandmother questions him remembering how tired Bobby was every time he was brought home from the hospital.

          "Yes please, Lucy?"

          "Yes John" Lucy said as she knelt in front of the wheelchair.

          "Could you tell my grandmother what the doctor said, and please could you stay the night. I find it comforting that the people I love are near me!" John request resulted in his grandmother and Lucy to smile sadly.

          "Of course I will if that's okay with you Millicent?"

          "Of course it is my dear! Nigel?" Millicent asked for the presence of her manservant.

          "Yes Ma'am?"

          "Could you help John up the stairs with Lucy and get Wendy to set up the guest room next to John's for me please?"

          "Yes ma'am!"

Lucy wheeled John to the edge of the stairs and her and Nigel help John out of the chair and slowly proceeded up the stairs. They finally was able to get John to his room about 10 minutes later, and John dismissed Nigel so him and Lucy would be alone.

          "Lucy could you get a fresh set of pyjamas for me, their in the top draw over there." John pointed to some draws across the room from where he was sitting on the bed.

          "Of course!"

Lucy answered and proceeded across the room to get the items he asked for. She brought them back to him and sat down next to him on the bed. She gently placed one of her hands over his and smiled sadly. John smiled at the motion and turned to look at Lucy and he saw a tear fall down her cheek.

"Lucy!"

He said affectionately knowing what she was thinking. He knew she was scared and he couldn't blame her he was scared to. The single word of her name from him made Lucy breakdown crying. He took her gently in his arms and placed his chin on the top of her head and held her until she stopped crying. He knew she never wanted him to see her cry, she wanted to seem strong, but knew right now it was all to much for her. 

"Lucy, it's going to be okay. I'm strong I'll get though this because you're here to help me." 

Once Lucy had stopped crying she looked at him.

          "John, I'm sorry for crying I knew I had to look strong, but right now I feel the total opposite I feel weak and helpless."

"Luce you're not you're helping more then you know"

          "Really?"

          "Yes, can you help me get dress I really should get some sleep." 

Lucy helped John get dressed and into bed, and waited for him to fall asleep. She kissed him on the cheek before leaving to talk to Millicent as she promised earlier, but right now she also just wanted to sleep, as it had been quite an exhausting day. Lucy slowly walked down the marble staircase and greeted at the bottom of the stairs by Nigel.

          "Mrs Carter is waiting for you in the drawing room Miss!"

          "Thank you."

Lucy made her way to the drawing room and sat down on a chair opposite Millicent with a big sigh. 

          "Tired my dear?" Lucy nodded her head and leaned back into the chair more.

          "And how are you doing?"

          "Worst then I look, I just hate to see him like this. And we were just been told today that they like to change his treatment to a trial treatment, because the one his on right now has stopped working."

The room went silent, Millicent really didn't want to hear that John's treatment wasn't working but she realised she had no choice.

          "Did the doctor say the new treatment would work for John?"

Lucy looked towards Millicent and tried to smile but it wasn't working.

          "He said the success rate of the new treatment was incurring that it work for John. People how have tried the new treatment that was on John's treatment before responded positively to the treatment. John would have to tell him soon if he wants to be included into the trial because there's not many places left. I think he needs to sleep on it, and he will decide tomorrow. I think you should go for it, because I think it's the best next step for him. I don't want him to stay on the treatment his on now if it's not working, because that would defiantly mean John would…" Lucy couldn't finish her sentence because she really didn't want to think of the possibility would no longer be with her.

          "So, you would advise me to tell him he should go for the new treatment if he asks me what I think?"

          "Yes, I looked at the research just before leaving the hospital with John and I think this going to work for him."

Millicent smiled weakly at Lucy, and got out of the chair she was sitting in and walked over to Lucy and placed her hand onto Lucy's shoulder, so she could show Lucy that she had her support.

          "You should get some sleep, your room next to John's on the right."

          "Thank you, do you think I could use her phone quickly?"

          "Of course." Millicent said, then left the room and left Lucy alone to make her phone call.

Lucy phoned the ER and relayed what Dr Morningside said to them earlier that day. And told her tell John good luck and a get well. Once she put the phone down she slowly made her way to the room she would be sleeping in. 

******  

In the morning Lucy woke up and made her way down stairs she entered the drawing room and saw John sitting down on one of the chairs. 

          "Hey, what you doing up?"

          "Couldn't sleep any longer."

Lucy walked over to John and sat down opposite him.

          "Have you made your decision yet?"

John nodded his head, "Yeah I'm going to go for the new treatment. I don't know why I didn't tell Dr Morningside straight away."

          "Maybe because you were scared?"

          "Maybe a little, and I think I needed to clear my head." 

          "I think we all needed to clear our heads." 

John and Lucy smiled to each other and started laughing.

          "Well you should contact him and tell him of your decision."

          "Already have Luce, and he said he was glad I made my decision and asked me to come back into the hospital in 8 days time."

          "That's good."

          "Yeah it is."

          "John I have a good feeling about this new treatment. I just know it's going to work, and after it has we can go back to the life we always wanted."

John smiled again and reached out his hand for Lucy. Lucy took his hand and John pulled her towards him and she sat down next to him. They wrapped their arms around each other and stayed like that until the other people in the house were up. 

To be continued… Sorry it the ending seems to be rushed, it's because I got a little writers block and I didn't know what it write. And I can ensure that the next chapter will be longer. 


	9. Remission

**"Remission" This is a Carter and Lucy Story. **

**Following from "Decision Day" **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters.**

**Written By Louise Mills.**

**Summary: Carter talks to his family and Lucy about what course he should next take.**

**Please visit my web site at http://www.angelfire.com/tv2/erfiction **

**Authors notes: This is set three months after the last story.**

John and Lucy were once again sitting in Dr Morningside's office waiting for him to come in with John's latest bone marrow test results. John had just finished a trial treatment at the hospital, and the doctor's on the oncology department were hopeful that this treatment would work for John, unlike the treatment he was on before. 

John was hoping that this time around sitting in the small office, waiting for the expert to arrive, that it was going to be good news. John turned to look at Lucy and he watched a single tear run down her cheek.

With the energy he had left in his body, he slowly lifted his hand up to her face and gently wiped the tear away. He wanted to assure her that every thing was going to be all right, this was the day they had been waiting for, but he couldn't even if he could speak, because he had his own doubts.

John hadn't been able to speak a single word for the last couple of days, because it wasted the much need energy to fight the cancer. And he knew that Lucy, his grandmother and grandfather, took that as a bad sign. But he knew differently somehow, it wasn't a bad sign, but a good one, even with his doubts.

As he couldn't voice his views, he placed his hand in Lucy's and gripped tightly as he could. He was sure he must be hurting Lucy's hand because how tightly he held it, but in reality to Lucy it was nothing more then a light squeeze.

Lucy felt the weakest in his hand and wanted to cry more. She promised when is started over six months ago now, that she would be strong for John, and would never show how she was really feeling. But somewhere in the last couple of weeks that promised had been crushed, then everybody started to notice how much more weaker he was getting. 

But mostly the breaking point for Lucy was then the people from the ER except for Mark, Carol and Doug, who regularly came to visit John, stopped coming. Most of them made excuses why they couldn't come. But she knew the truth they hated how he looked. 

John was white, as the sheets he laid on most of the time, had no hair, blood vessels were continuously bursting leaving nasty looking bruises against he white skin. And he didn't help that he couldn't talk or then opened his eyes most of the time, even thou he wasn't asleep. It was just that the lights seemed to hurt his eyes more now.

To Lucy he seem more dead then alive right now, and she cursed herself for ever thinking that, because she sure didn't want him to be dead, as she loved him with the whole of her heart and soul. But sometimes even against her own will and wishes she caught herself wishing he could die peacefully in his sleep, so the pain would finally leave his body that had resided in him. 

To Lucy the only part of his body that even seemed not to be dead was his eyes. You could still tell by looking into his eyes he was still fighting. They had that sparkle in them now, and she dreaded to look in his eyes after what Dr Morningside was going to tell them.

If it was bad news she knew that sparkle in his eyes would be gone. On the other hand if it were good news, the sparkle would be electrifying. She was hoping for the later, but she couldn't make herself believe in her hopes anymore. 

John and Lucy continued waiting for another 15 minutes with their hopes and fears of the pending meeting, then suddenly the door opened to the office and Dr Morningside walked though.

Dr Morningside was reading a file he had in his hands and hadn't acknowledged John or Lucy presence in the office. He walked over to his desk and sat down, he at last looked up from the file and smiled at them.

        "Well good afternoon! Could you please bear with me for a minute I need to sort something out with this patient, then I be right with you."

John and Lucy sighed in relief when they realised the folder Dr Morningside was holding wasn't John's.

Dr Morningside picked up a pen, he quickly wrote something in the folder then leaned over to the buzzer on his table to talk to his receptionist. 

        "Joan, could you please tell Dr Morris he can go ahead and give what he suggested to Kerry. Tell him I agree it's the best course for her now. Thank you!"

        "Yes sir."

A muffled sound of Joan's voice came back informing him that she understood his orders.

Dr Morningside closed the file and threw it into the trays on his desk.

        "Right! Now I think you would just want me to tell you straight about your results John?" 

John nodded, but his mind all the sudden was preparing him for the worst outcome. 

        "Okay, your results show that you have finally reached remission."

John and Lucy just stared at him in shock for a while before a smile formed on their faces.

        "Oh my god!" 

Lucy said as she started to cry from joy.

        "I can't believe it, it's been so long since you were well that I thought is day would never come!"

John just stared at Lucy he wanted to hug her, so she would stop crying even thou they weren't tears of sadness. John looked towards Dr Morningside and John pleaded with his expressions for Dr Morningside to comfort Lucy for him, as he couldn't

Dr Morningside got the hint and went over to Lucy and gently placed his arm over her shoulders. 

****** 

Three days later,

Lucy was sitting on the side of the bed that she shared the night before with John. She beginning to get ready to go and start work. She just finished tying up her shoes when she felt John's hand run over her arm. 

Lucy turned to John, who was now a little bit stronger as he no longer was receiving the chemotherapy that was causing his weakest before, but he still had the bruises that were slowly disappearing.

        "Do you really have to go into work today?" 

John asked Lucy his voice was still a bit dry from not using it in a while.

        "You know I have to, I have called in sick everyday since we got your results. And they know that we got the results that day, and we didn't tell them what they were, their probably getting really worried about you. We need to reassure them."

John quickly turned away from her, and it was obvious to her that what she had just said angry them.

        "They don't deserve to be reassured. They turned they backs on me when I needed them the most!"

        "John not everyone turned their backs on you, Mark, Carol and Doug didn't! Don't they at least deserve to be reassured?"

John turned back to looked at her; a slight bit of his angry was gone. As he knew she was right.

        "Yes they do, tell them first and then, only then can you tell the rest of the ER. I hope they don't expert then I get back that I will talk to them other then work, because I decided I'm not going to!"

Lucy sighed as she heard him say is, she was hoping he could see fit to forgive them. Not that she wanted him make out that nothing happen and everything was all right, because she didn't they didn't deserve his friendship, but only to forgive them so there wouldn't be high tension in the workplace.

        "I don't blame you! And I won't tell them what you said because they need to figure it out for themselves."

John slowly sat up in bed and smiled as he leaned towards Lucy, he lightly kissed her on the lips, and then whispered into her ear.

        "I glad you agree, now get on with you, I need to get some sleep."

Lucy lightly giggled and kissed him on the cheek as she left towards the ER.

****** 

In the ER 30 minutes later,

Mark noticed Lucy had just walked though the ambulance bay doors with a smile and rested which was the first time in a long time he had seen her like this. As John's illness had taken her toll on Lucy as well as John, every time John had a set back so did Lucy emotionally. 

Lucy walked though the doors into the lounge and proceed to the coffee maker to pour herself a cup, once she had her steamy cup of coffee she sat down in on the couch with a magazine waiting for Mark, Carol and Doug. Who she knew would be here any minute now, as she noticed Marks stares as she came in, and knew he would tell Carol and Doug. 

****** 

Admin desk,

        "Mark you sure it was Lucy a with a smile and not someone who looked like her?" 

Carol question Mark. Mark just nodded his head and proceeded to make his way to the lounge, who Carol and Doug slowly followed him.

Then Lucy heard the door of the lounge creep opened she couldn't help but smile knowing that they were being cautious because of her odd behaviour earlier.

Mark, Carol and Doug peered though the door and saw Lucy sitting on the couch with her back towards them, co they couldn't see her facial expression. Wondering weather Lucy mood was a cover up or not? They finally decided to go fully in the room and talk to Lucy.

        "Morning Lucy!"

Carol greeted her.

        "Morning!"

Lucy said cheerily back to Carol, which in turn caused Lucy three colleagues raise they eye brows.

        "Why the smile Lucy?"

Doug asked the question the other two were afraid to ask.

        "Because of one beautiful word. Called remission!"

Lucy stated, and noticed the shocked stared of her friends. Lucy couldn't help it any longer, she burst out laughing at their expressions.

        "Your kidding?"

Mark asked quietly.

        "I would never kid about that Mark, John is in remission. And that's why I haven't been in the last three days, he wouldn't let me get out of bed!"

Carol and Marks eye brows again raised at her remarks, and Doug had a dirty smirked on his face. Lucy realised what they were thinking, when she saw that smirked and made about setting they minds straight.

        "God Doug, not like that! I mean let go of me, like in hugging. Anyway he not strong enough for what you were thinking. And Mark I'm telling you now once he is I'm having a whole week off work."

They all started laughing, which caused outside the rest of the ER look towards the lounge, wondering what was going on.

To Be Continued…

Please review my chapter as I would like to know what you thought of it, and how I could improve my story or if you have any ideas I could put into the next chapter. 


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